wah kya life hai!!!

random #251010

2010-10-25T06:17:00.002+05:30

Everytime I stop and look back, I don't know what I am missing - the past or the present?

past, present, future

2010-08-13T12:35:00.002+05:30

It's not easy to get rid of your past. Had realised it long back but the implication of the simple statement has been hitting me at different points of my life. And it's not everything from your past that you want to get rid of - like all the beautiful memories of kgp.

Yeah, Kgp is such a big part of my life that I cannot imaging a life sans the word 'kgp'. And I had thought it wasn't possible for any other place to even reach the same level of importance. Again I was wrong. The place where I am staying at present - WIMWI - is slowly and steadily imbibing itself in my life. The strange part is that it being a management institute I never had hoped for it to happen, but yeah I am loving and enjoying the place as much as I did kgp. Have made some real good friends while keeping in touch with my PALTAN.

And now as the days at this place are coming to an end (there's more 8 month of my WIMWI life left) I am again getting wary of the future - job, place, friends, new environment and all. Think it's the way life is. Each place connects with you so well that you cannot simply erase them. Because each place has its moments, its happiness, joys, failures, people which become a part of you. I just hope that it stays the way in future too.

Amen

Help!!!

2010-05-11T23:56:00.002+05:30

With my fb page getting flooded with updates on the most dreaded word of my life, i am seriously looking for ways to filter updates which are even remotely related to the word.

Any help is welcome :)

arranged marriage dilemma

2010-02-17T21:45:00.004+05:30

Disclaimer: The scenarios presented here are from real life - not necessarily author's own ones and it is just an attempt by the author to understand what happens when a confused blogged mind is subjected to a trauma called arranged marriage proposal.

Assumptions: Cases where the subject is already in love and wants to go for a love marriage - age, caste, religion no barrier - are not considered to so as to not reduce the morale of the confused subject. Further love after marriage cases are dropped as they are either an illusion which happens in Ekta Kapoor's soaps or lie in the tails of the normal distribution of arranged marriages.

Scenario 1: You love someone.
S/he loves you too.
You never say it to him/her.
S/he never professes his/her love for you.
Both remain silent throughout.
You marry according to parents' wishes never mouthing your feelings.
You wonder "what if.....?"

Scenario 2: You have a crush on someone.
The crush develops into love.
The certain other is your best friend.
You are not sure of feelings from the other side.
You remain best friends.
You marry someone chosen by your family.
You wonder "what if......?"

Scenario 3: You are single.
You are still looking.
Your parents are also looking.
They found an ideal better half for you.
You don't like that better half.
You don't dislike that better half.
You still are single.
You don't have a reason to ward off that proposal.
You don't want to be tied to that better half.
You are in a soup.

Scenario 4: You are single.
Your parents are looking.
They found the ideal better half for you.
You find someone.
Coincidentally both are the same person.
You have a love-cum-arranged marriage.
Your parents are happy.
You are happy.

Scenario 5: You are single.
Your parents are looking.
They found the ideal better half for you.
You have no wish to go against their wishes.
You make that person your better half.
You two lead a life together - long, happy, exciting - we are not sure about it.
You are married.

Scenario 6: You have a bf/gf.
You are in love with your bf/gf.
You don't have the heart to tell your parents who are against love marriages.
You marry the one chosen by your parents.
You are still in love with your bf/gf.
You have an unhappy married life.
a. You have an affair with your bf/gf
b. You live a dissatisfied married life indulged in the memory of your bf/gf.
c. You live a dissatisfied married life trying to forget your bf/gf.
d. You live a married life.

Scenario 7: You have a bf/gf.
You are in love with your bf/gf.
Your parents are against love marriages.
You don't marry.

Results: Whether you are happy or unhappy, 5 out of 7 scenarios analysed out here resulted in marriage - all are with the one chosen by the family - given the inherent assumptions the author made about the subject and the family.

Conclusion: As it would be very far-fetched to draw conclusions from such a small sample space, the author has refrained from doing so and hence is continuing the research. The final conclusions will be posted only after the author gains considerable knowledge and spends considerable time on the research.

P.S. If you are wondering about the origin of the post, refer to my facebook notification area which keeps on showing me updates of people getting married around me :|

how often does it happen?

2010-02-14T20:55:00.002+05:30

How often does it happen that you hear of a terrorist attack and of the 8 dead one was somebody whom you knew. And of those 8, 2 were siblings. And of those 8, 5 were friends who went there together. How often does it happen?

In the mumbai attack, one of the many people who were mercilessly gunned down by those terrorists was a fellow kgpian, whom I had known in my first year, who was going to marry our senior in a week from the incident. Two of the many people who were trapped in their offices were my friends. One of the places where this gunning down happened was 5 min walk from my office. And the day the incident happened, I was in my office, though had left for my place long before it happened.

There maybe numerous people who have lost so many people in so many such incidents. General people like you and me are seldom affected, really, by such incidents. Something we have just read in the newspaper, something which we saw in the Television. Only when you or someone near to you gets hurt or is somehow connected to the incident, you are moved. This is something which I have seen, observed, noticed, wondered, questioned, but never got the answer as to how could we be human only when we are involved.

No, don't read me wrong. I am not criticising anybody. I am not asking everybody to be sorry when any such incident happens. I am just wondering. With each passing year, the number of people I know who got hurt in such incidents is increasing. With each passing year, I am getting hurt for a small period of time and then am continuing with my daily chores. With each passing years, such happenings are affecting me more and more, and at the same time, the time I take to let such news sink is decreasing. Today also, I am just trying to let it sink and am waiting for it to pass like every other incident like this.

[blank]

2010-02-11T03:40:00.003+05:30

into the darkness of night,
i just look out of window
and stare blankly
at this unearthly hour
what am i doing
staring at the dark sky
when i would be better off
in the comfort of the my bed
happily dreaming
not worrying about tomorrow

but here i am
staring into the blankness
with a blankness in my heart
which i myself am unable to comprehend

untitled

2010-02-10T19:30:00.001+05:30

[Meme]: Untitled

I am just a dabbler at poetry - I cannot write rhyming sentences. Rarely I feel I can express myself using half sentences. But sometimes I do and it's the only kind of poem I can write. So this one's for you Borna who tagged me for this meme: the untitled abstract poem.

pencil scratching on the notebook,
gentle murmuring behind your back,
slurping of coffee,
turning of the pages,
screech of the sandal belt adjusted,
people shuffling in their seats,
sounds not loud enough
and yet so loud
they add to the banging in your head
and the pain grows with each subtle sound
and keeps on growing
till you close your eyes
and try to indulge yourself in your dreams
and slowly, very slowly
the pain subsides.

[here I finally dozed off in the class :D]

and yeah the tag part. I would like to tag sonik and madhur.

Why!!

2010-02-03T04:05:00.001+05:30

He stared at the wedding invitation for sometime. He was not sure of what he was seeing. Was the name printed there the same name which made his heart beat each time he heard it? Was it the one for which he yearned so much? Was it the same one which had once made him feel that the world was on his feet and had landed him on ground so hard that he still was trying to collect and join the pieces of his broken heart?

He had always been intrigued by those mysterious dark black eyes. Had always tried to find what was hidden behind them. Tried hard to get meaning out of each and every word spoken by her. Somehow the mystery had always eluded him. The more he tried to solve it, the more he was drowned deep inside. The desperate attempts sometimes irritated him, angered him. Why did he always have to try, why was he the only one to try to understand what was going deep inside that mind? What was the question which was keeping her preoccupied with too less attention for him?

He never could solve these mysteries. He delved deeper and deeper into his miseries over his failed attempts and sooner realised that those eyes were just blank, those words just meaningless. With every passing day, the futility of the association grew on. The attraction seemed illogical. How could someone be attracted to someone so cold, someone who doesn’t give attention to the person next to her, someone who was lost in her own world with so little or no space for people around? It was beyond all logic.

Despite all this futility, he tried and tried. He had always listened to his heart and this time too he ignored what his mind kept on telling him. He thought – “It’s just a phase which will go. She loves me, I love her a lot. She means the world to me and vice versa. We can keep this alive with our love.” But the more he thought, the more he consoled himself, the more he was convinced that she was going away. He tried desperately to be with her, to not bug her too much but still be with her and know about the minutest detail of her life, to not be too over possessive but to be possessive enough that she knows he hadn’t given up on her. Somehow none of his attempts could penetrate that wooden face (stone heart?). He was not certain what would work. What would make her cling to him. And each one of the attempts made him see the futility of any future attempts. Life was like full of problems and only problems but no solutions.
He fought with her, tried to make her see his way. He cajoled her, showered her with gifts and compliments whenever he could. He even tried having cool, calm talks with lots of time but in vain. He tried hard with each and every passing day. And then he just waited for the dreaded day – the day when it would just end. He was not even sure what he wanted. He wanted the pain in his heart to subside but was not sure if it would be healed if she wasn’t there with him. He had no clue of what was going around. And then came the final blow. She said she couldn’t continue any longer. She had tried hard and it was best to part ways.

His heart bled. But what could he do when he knew for sure that it was inevitable. He looked at her eyes. They were watery, her face was sad, her lips trembled. Every part of her body was shouting loudly that she didn’t want to go away. But she had to. Because it was the way it was meant to be. He was confused. Why did she have to go away if she too wanted to be with him. She tried to explain the logic but it didn’t make any sense. They had been friends for so long, was it so difficult to understand what she was saying? No. Certainly no. But it was.

Defeated he just accepted the verdict that was thrust upon him, without understanding the logic behind it. But then he could atleast have the last hug, the last feel of her body, of her lips. Atleast. And he gave her a tight hug. Kissed her for the last time. He clung to her as tightly as he could. He shut his eyes so hard that he couldn’t feel the moisture in them. So hard that when he would open them, he would realise that it was not reality but just a dream. He kept on praying, hoping, trembling. And then suddenly the contact loosened. The hands moved away. The warmth reduced. The feeling of her touch faded. He kept his eyes closed hard and his heart screamed “This is just a nightmare and nothing else.” And then he slowly opened his eyes. After a long time. And nobody was there. He was alone, all alone.

His mind revolted against what happened. This couldn’t have happened after the efforts he had put in. He had not tried so hard just to hit the ground so hard. He lost all touch with reality, cocooned himself in his loneliness. Spent sleepless nights wondering what went wrong when everybody had convinced him that they were meant to be together. Slowly he tried to get back to his normal life. She was in a different city now. May be it wouldn’t be so hard to let her go. Maybe he will forget her soon – in a week maybe, a month or a year. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to forget her and always be trying to join the broken pieces of his heart. Maybe he will find somebody to fill the void in his life. Maybe he will have to spend rest of his life in loneliness. Maybe.

It was a year or so later when he got the wedding invitation. And he just stared at the two names printed there – the first one caught his attention. And he wondered again where it had gone wrong.

कल और आज

2010-01-22T00:20:00.002+05:30

वो बचपन कल की ही बात लगती है
यूँ ही खेलते खेलते कितनी बार कितनी चोटें खायीं
कितनी बार झगडे, मार पिटाई भी की एक दुसरे की
पर हर बार जब वापस मिलते थे
तो लगता था जैसे कभी झगडे ही ना हों
जैसे वो झगडा भी प्यार का ही रूप था

हर छोटी सी बात पे मीन मेख निकालना
अपनी बात गलत होने पे भी मनवा लेना
बात बात पे रूठ जाना, फिर लोगों का मानना
और फिर पल भर में ही वापस हंसने लगना

कितनी आसान थी तब ज़िन्दगी
कोई उलझन नहीं और ना ही उलझनों को सुलझाने की मुश्किल
और अब ये एक ऐसे गुजरे ज़माने की बातें लगती हैं
जिसकी हमने कभी शक्ल ही ना देखी हो

अब तो सीधी सी बात भी टेढ़ी लगती है
हर शब्द में दोगलापन झलकता है
सही बात भी कहने से डर सा लगता है
और बात जुबां पर आ कर भी रुक जाती है

हर बात से दिल डरता है
हर बात पे लगता है जैसे अब कुछ गलत होने को है
हर बात दिल पे छुरियां चलाती है
हर बार दिल घबराता है
गुम हो जाता है सोच में
और दिल कहता है
शायद इस बार चोट नहीं पहुंचेगी
शायद इस बार दिल नहीं दुखेगा

random thoughts #4

2009-12-01T17:26:00.004+05:30

Lesson learnt from DM1 - Quiz1: if you wrote the first answer wrong make sure you leave rest of the paper blank. And if you are not sure of the first answer, its best to leave rest of the paper anyways.

लिबास

2009-11-24T00:20:00.003+05:30

ज़िन्दगी किस कदर आसाँ होती
रिश्ते गर होते लिबास.........
और बदल लेते कमीजों की तरह!

- गुलज़ार

random thoughts #3

2009-11-22T04:05:00.002+05:30

you cried, you fought, you swore, you complained
and now looking back
seeing those beaming, smiling faces
somewhat shy, somewhat anxious
but still ready to take that big leap......
it all seems so trivial, so kiddish
and you just look back at those good old days
and the friends who are there for you
and the good times you are having
and the joys you are sharing with them
and..........
a smile comes to your face.

random thoughts #2

2009-11-21T00:54:00.002+05:30

When you have typed and erased a thought for the 100th time, you forget why in the first place you thought about it.

random thought #1

2009-11-20T02:33:00.001+05:30

Sometimes it is so difficult for people to understand that in process to protect you from getting hurt, they are hurting you.

kgp again

2009-10-10T19:10:00.002+05:30

I had thought I would keep on blogging regularly despite my schedule. I have not been able to keep my promise due to procrastination and laziness. But everytime I come back and post something, it's because of the fond memories of those 5 years which never seem to fade.

Was going through resham's blog and then the nostalgia creeped in. It happens everytime something related to kgp comes in front of my eyes. Today only, while going to mess, I happened to see the Kshitij poster put up in front of the entrance. And it was hanging on just one pin - not much visible to onlookers. And I couldn't control myself. I went and took the mess notice and set the poster right. I have come across the Kshitij posters so many times and yet it evokes the same emotions, same nostalgia, same vigor. And within moments I reach the place which really made me feel that I belong there.

Yeah, I know some would feel that I am always on this spree of recalling the past, looking back at things, but it is something I am unable to stop doing. I like my present life at IIM A, have adapted myself to this place's lifestyle and schedule and yet I find something missing. Something to which I want to cling more strongly with each passing day.

Kgp...ahh......bitter sweet....good bad ugly.....but our dear kgp

viksng

2009-06-07T01:18:00.003+05:30

I don't know what to write about you. Have I known you that good? Dunno. My knowledge of yours is better than none at all. You remind me a bit of Sheldon from BBT. You have apparently knowledge(funda) on everything except maybe how to say more than one syllable at a time.

We initially called you "The Philosopher" but later changed it to just "tall, skinny guy" and then "the guy with lots of comp funda" and then just "viksing".

You seemed distant to everyone with the attitude "kya bakwaas hai" This was one of the common phrases you ued in front of us. And yet somehow you were always always ready to help whenever I shot a computer dout at you - one of the only times when you would actually use long and complete sentences. Never responding in the group, you were always there - "The Silent Guy". And though you had n number of problems with treats and get-togethers, you were in most of them. Manaofying you seemed to be the world's most difficult tasks and yet you always turned up.

Actually tumhare baare mein jaise i sochti hoon shanti chaa jati hai :P ab to words bhi nahi mil rahe is shanti ke karan.

P.S. Orkut mein 1024 ki word limit kam lagti hain par yahan to aapke maunvrat ne humein bhi maun kar diya

PD

2009-06-07T00:53:00.002+05:30

You were one of the few people in PALTAN with whom I had not shared a lot in Kgp. I had neither been very close nor distant to you. The final year changed it. We spent most of the meal time together playing cards and then bhatting and then came the time to part again.

Mumbai being our common destination we were bound to meet again. This time we decided to share room but yet again I was very apprehensive thinking about the difference in our natures. I still remember the day when I went just to meet you and help you decide which flat to rent.

And I spent the rest of my time in Mumbai being your room-mate. It was a bliss. All those bitching sessions about our managers, our work and those endless trips to the golden olden days. There had been days when we met eachother just twice - once to wish G'morning and other to say G'nite. But then the fact that somebody was there who could console me, who could share my joys and happiness and who could just give me company in anything and everthing made my life much easier than I thought it ould be.

Never thought that I would miss you so much. One of things which I wanted to cling to even after leaving Mumbai. There is so much which I want to write but then I cannot put everything into words.

Thank you sweetie. Love you a lot :)

Motey

2009-06-07T00:21:00.004+05:30

The first time I met you, you seemed to me a very maggu and serious person. Some one who was uncomfortable in large groups. The impression hasn't changed a lot in the past 5 years, but yeah now I know if somebody can give us bandis a good competition in thinking about arbitrary stuffs and in actually worrying about them and then discussing it with friends, then it would be you :P Jokes apart you still are the socially uncomfortable person but you can be very close to your friends and at times understand them a lot better.

I don't remember when I started calling you by the nick name everybody had associated with you. I actually found it very rude in the start. And I don't even remember how I started talking to you.And s when you reminded that the first time I had talked to you I called you that I really was amazed. But then maybe your inability to respond to any other name made it impossible to use any other name for you. And despite your non-chalant attitude towards everything, you would spent hours thinking about something as unimportant as a period in this whole post.

But thing which has a long lasting impression on my mind is your smiling face and those childish doubts you had about everything. The long debates, your patience in making me understand a topic I just refused blatantly, your impatience ( or inability) to understand whenever I threw some life's ( or for that matter girls' ) philosophy at you, all those kiddish and childish tantrums of yours and blah blah blah - enjoyed them a lot. It was easy to tell you anything, sometimes even those things which I had never shared with anyone before. Even when I felt down you were one of the few persons who could actually make me smile :)

And yeah, had it not been for you maybe I wouldn't have realised one of my biggest dreams. Thank You for it an for everything :)

dar

2009-03-18T09:34:00.003+05:30

कई बार यूँ होता है कि आप कहते कुछ हैं और चाहते उसका उल्टा हैं। और अगर भगवान ने उसी पल आपके कहे को सच बनाने की ठान ली तो आप किसको दोष देंगे? अपनी किस्मत को या भगवान को? जिंदगी इतनी उलझी हुई क्यों होती है मैं आज तक नहीं समझ पाई। हर बार जब लगता है कि मैं जिंदगी को समझने लगी हूँ जिंदगी धोका दे जाती है। वैसे आज मेरे पास शिकायत करने को कुछ नहीं है। जो मैं चाहती थी वो मुझे मिला। जो सपने संजोये थे सभी नहीं पर बहुत कुछ पूरे ही। और अब मेरी जिंदगी का एक बड़ा सपना साकार होने जा रहा है। पर पता नहीं एक सूनापन कहाँ से मन में घर कर गया है जो जाने का नाम ही नहीं लेता। भीड़ में भी अकेलापन लगता है। और अब डर लगने लगा है - हर बात से, हर चीज़ से। डर लगता है कि कहीं हाथ में आते आते वो मुट्ठी में बंधे रेत की तरह फिसल न जाए।
बस जल्दी से यह समय पार हो और मुझे पता चल जाए कि क्या होने वाला है। यह नहीं कि मैं सोचती रहूँ कि यह न हुआ तो मैं क्या करूंगी।

hotch potch

2009-02-23T23:09:00.002+05:30

1. Delhi-6

Had been waiting for this movie eagerly and so grabbed the offer as soon as I got it. The promos with Rehman's magical music had given such a vision of the movie that just couldn't wait to watch it. After watching felt the promos dealt with the story far better than the movie itself. I liked the movie in bits and pieces but overall the story didn't build-up like I had expected it to. It was more of a hotch potch to me. What amazed me more were the rants of Big B on the movie not getting good reviews. Why?? If people like it, hell with the reviews.

2. Oscar 2009

Slumdog bagged 8 Oscars with Rehman getting 2 - maybe one of the biggest news this year till now. But somehow I couldn't see it as an Indian achievement but one that proved the magic of Rehman to the world. Rest I don't remember anything else other than Heath Ledger winning Oscar posthumously. Somebody's status told me Kate won the best actress or someone else. Am not even tempted to check in news. Sheer laziness and tiredness maybe.

3. Office

It's not as if I don't like the job. The work is okay, salary decent and work load is again good - not too much not too less. But still I have that feeling of being held captive and am waiting for the day when I will leave the company. Now I am not even bothered by my Boss' or colleagues attitude. Maybe this is because I have something better to look forward to.

4. Friends and people in general

I fail to understand how people change. Or maybe it is just an illusion. Maybe they were like that always. And also sometimes I find it very hard to deal with people. They are nice, caring, not convoluted or crooked minded. But they have some habit which is so annoying that all their goodness goes in vain. And I am left confused.

alien

2009-01-20T19:57:00.003+05:30

Now this is alien to me.

I know feeling elated is not an alien feeling for anybody.

I know boasting about a BIG achievement is also something every human is bound to do.

I know feeling elated over a BIG achievement is again not something alien for any human being.

I know feeling being on top of the world after a BIG achievement is not at all alien to anybody in the entire world.

But I feel weird still basking in the glory. Though am unable to get out of that trance. Can't get that stupid smile off my face. Am still feeling High and am scared to fall down from my position of glory.

Maybe I will be able to make this feeling everlasting and maybe I will be enjoying it without any qualms about anything. Till then, maybe this feeling is necessary to keep my feet on ground.

Preparing for the big DAY

2009-01-17T01:07:00.004+05:30

(well as usual the flow of the post changed and here I now write a totally new post with the title kept intact :P)

Checking out the details on the GD/PI schedule for IIMs, I thought it would be for my own good that I have a look at what people are discussing in all the forums. It sure did me some good. I got some bombs and some regular ones and didn't know the answers to wither of them. I'll present the questions I found on the forums and my answers(as I was telling a friend of mine few mins/hrs back)

1. Why MBA?

Ans: I am actually still clueless.

Everbody seems to be doing it.

I am unhappy with my present job and MBA seems the right choice.

Am just following the examples set by my colleagues and friends.

Sirr izzat ka sawaal hai. Naak kat jati agar CAT and IIM na clear kiya to.

2. Why B/L/A/C/K/I?

Ans: Sir jana to A/B hi tha. But what matters ki calls kahan se aaye hain aur aap kiska interview de rahe hain aur baaki interviews kitne burey makhe hain.

3. How many calls did you get and which one do you want to join?

Ans: All six and I don’t give a damn about ILK, Have already been in Kgp for 5 years and so don’t want to spend 2 more years in West Bengal. I don’t have a problem with B but A is the best and so who doesn’t want to be with the best.

Got an insight on this one – People getting BLACKI don’t give a damn about ILK but if ILK wouldn’t have shortlisted them, they would just be surprised and angry and felt cheated.

4. What are your strength and weaknesses?

Ans: Strength - I am a very good person

Weakness – I am a very good person.

Strength – I am very detailed in my work and deliberations.

Weakness – I can stretch any short story a mile long and listeners tend to have short term memory lapse after my deliberations.

Strength – I get very emotionally attached to my work.

Weakness – I do work at my own pace and according to my own rules. If you want to get it done according to you get somebody else to do it.

Strength – I am a very interesting character.

Weakness – I don’t have much to say about myself.

5. Some question related to acads.

Ans: Sir woh to kabhi dekha hi nahi tha college mein. Extra Acads mein jo busy they. Aur abhi 6 mahine se S/W firm mein kaam kar rahe hain to kuch yaad hi nahi hai.

6.Some question related to the company/industry you are working in

Ans: Sir jis company ko chodhna hai uske barey mein jaan kar kya karenge

7. Some question about finance.

Ans: Sir jo cheez kabhi padhi hi nahi woh kaise bata sakte hain. Bas yeh pata hai ki roz newspaper mein isi ke charche chal rahe hain aur uski wajah se meri naukri kabhi bhi ja sakti hai

8. Some question about politics

Ans: Obama US President ban gaya aur India mein koi bhi government ban jaue uski haalat nahi sudharne wali hai. Sonia ji kursi tyag kar bhi kursi pe viraajmaan hain. Jharkhand mein koi sarkar 6 mahine se jyada nahi chal sakti. J&K mein koi bhi sarkar dange nahi band karwa payegi. Mumbai mein sarkar kisi ki bhi rahe, raj thakre kabhi shaant nahi rahega jaise Bangal mein Mamta Bannerji aur UP mein Mayawati. South mein kisi ki bhi sarkar ban jaye kabhi bhi north wale ko details yaad nahi rahenge. Aur baaki ka bhi yahi haal hai.

9. What are your hobbies?

Ans: Hobbies mean timepass and what better timepass other than movies and K serials which are so readily available.

10. Why should we take you and not others?

Ans: Sir baaki achche hain, Par Hum Bhi Kisi Se kam Nahi

I am a real interesting character who can make your classes more interesting

Rest questions I haven't seen and so will post as soon as I see them and come up with some answers :)

coming back to normal

2009-01-16T23:00:00.002+05:30

How I spent the last two weeks, I myself don't have much idea. Waiting anxiously for the CAT results to be announced and the loneliness eating me with my roomie leaving for a 6 week training, I lost touch of the realities of life. Never before had I lived alone in a totally strange place. And then I found myself indulging in all the stupid activities like not taking my meals, leave alone the idea or necessity of a proper meal, sleeping all day, skipping office( as if it was college).

Now that I think of that period I find it really strange how I was messing with my own life, making myself unhappy. Yeah it required lots of morale boosting and mood lifting talks from my family and friends to get me back to shape. After a long time, I had a proper meal without grunting about what I was having for dinner and not cribbing about the life.

Now the pending works are to be finished, goals to be achieved with a smile on the face. And though things are not all bright, they are less murky.

finally meenu smiles :)

2009-01-09T06:11:00.002+05:30

January 8th, 2009 6:30 p.m.

Arrived at the station trying to look calm but anxiety was making me jump every now and then. Then got a SMS and I could no longer keep the calm. Where to go, whom to share with, how to save myself from the growing sense of fear which was engulfing me with every passing moment. I looked all around but without any known face in the vicinity felt completely lost. Felt like replying to the message but considering it would give away my feelings, would show how vulnerable I have become, I just erased the message.

Still wary of any known face looking at me, I went ahead to the friend's hotel where I tried to calm myself. Everything's Gonna Be Right. But even when I was continuosly mouthing these words, I had that feeling that every thing was going the wrong way. And then came the phone call. And I panicked. I had to find the answers. I had to know the results. I couldn't wait till the next day. I had to know what the future had in for me then and there. But in vain. I had no resources stranded out on that strange land and so I rushed back.

January 8th, 2009 10:00 p.m.

Throughout the journey back home, I tried hard not to look so scared, not so afraid so as to make people anxious. Tried hard to indulge myself with music but nothing could calm my anxiety. Waling on the barely lit street, I was like a mouse wary of the cat to pound upon it. I tried not to think, just to stop the brain from thinking anything, to stop myself from having any bad feeling about anything. But just before entering the building, the look on the eyes of the guy getting down from the car made me jump. I think the jumping part was pretty obvious to that guy and so I rushed into the lift and to my floor and into my room. Not until I had locked everything, I went to my room and searched frantically for the answers. As soon as I lay my hands on them, I could see there was nothing I could do. There was not a slim chance of my getting successful this time.

January 8-9th, 2009 midnight.

Next hour was spent in anxiety and when I couldn't bear more, I tried to go to sleep. There was no point in waiting to see myself fail again. As soon as I fell on my bed, I heard the phone ringing. I could no longer run from the results. Good or bad, I had to know and so I messaged a friend to check them for me. And I waited anxiously.

I think it was the longest minute of my life. And finally the message appeared on the screen," You are a BLACKI". I was baffled. How could it be possible. I asked for a screen shot. Actually he suggested mailing it to me. I was too numb to think anything. Only when I saw the screenshot of the CAT result, I started coming back to life. I had got calls from all of them.

Next 1 hour was still dizzy. I kept on composing individual messages to all my friends, talked to my sister, talked to my friend and cried and then tried hard to sleep. When the time to relax had come, I couldn't sleep anymore. Somehow I managed to get some sleep and as sson as I got up, I checked the results myself.

Yeah it was true. It wasn't a dream. And though still my mind is boggled by so many thoughts, I am enjoying the moment, relishing the fact that another of my dream is on the verge of realization.

All the best to me for whatever's to come next and thanks a lot to all my dear ones for standing by me, listening to my endless rantings how I was anxious and scared and yeah also for reading this post :)

anxious.....

2009-01-07T23:31:00.002+05:30

It's new year once again. And though a lot has changed over the last 6 months, nothing much has really changed.

Atleast not the anxiety I am feeling now as the day approaches when the CAT results will be out. I had thought that I had gotten over that anxiety, but I did check my CAT paper after the exam. Though I didn't want to check the marks, I did that too and though I had tried not to be too anxious or worried about the results, as the day approaches I can feel my heartbeat racing up with every second slipping bringing me closer to the results.

Well in two or three days, I will no longer be anxious. Whatever the results be, I will know them and that's kind of a relief. Let's see what they have in store for me.

All the best to me :)

forever planning

2008-12-10T20:52:00.000+05:30

Diwali was approaching and while talking over phone and going through mails I thought it would be great to have a reunion at my place. The next moment I found myself calling up everyone and persuading them to visit me. Instantaneously I had a plan for the things we would be doing, places we would be visiting and all. Diwali came and went. Due to various reasons I had to cancel the whole thing and I ended up celebrating it alone at my place. And as usual I decided I won’t make plans.

And so when I got to know of CLK and ari’s plan to visit Mumbai I was unenthusiastic. I thought I will see to it when they would actually come. But some habits are hard to change. I soon found myself making plans. Ok not for a reunion this time but how to meet both of them as they both would be here on office days and I am not in a situation to take any days off. Wondering for whom would I like to spare the one leave I could do away with, I got a message from mota about his trip to Bangalore and Mumbai. And soon I chalked out how I could I make the best of one leave I could afford.

As the history goes, I am still not sure how my plans will turnout. But still am looking forward to it. Maybe we would be able to meet and have good time together. And I would revel in the joy of having planned so well. Maynot be. And then maybe I will again resolve not to plan till something like this comes up :D

frustrated

2008-11-17T14:48:00.000+05:30

I am rewriting this post for the third time. Each time with the different topic, some emotions or feelings which after writing just few lines I never felt the need to be expressed. Dunno if I will publish this one or some later version of the post. But each of these posts that I have tried to write have one thing in common - to vent out the frustration I am feeling at my work place, frustration over not faring well in yesterday's paper, frustration over feeling so frustrated with my life, frustration over everything which seems out of place in my life or is going wrong. And soon after I wonder why is it that I am feeling frustrated when I have got most of the things that I wanted in comparison to the very few that I don't have. But everybody does that, doesn't everybody?

money money money

2008-10-31T15:14:00.002+05:30

money.........

sounds nice na....

was just hoping if I had some more....

I would have bought this...

I would have bought that........

is there an end to things we want more in life.......

sometimes I feel I am also becoming materialistic in this materialistic world.......

shallow......

but who cares as long as you are the one holding the bills and not somebody else

Diwali

2008-10-24T13:44:00.002+05:30

Diwali

Illu

diwali is a time for celebration

and ILLU is something

which gives Diwali a meaning

for every kgpian

atleast for me

looking at the days to go

I simply go back to those years at kgp

lighting diyas

seeing those HUGE chatayis light up

to form a figure

which had seemed almost impossible

the rangoli

the rangoli room

the dirty rangoli room

the dirty me holding colours

or just roaming around the common room

inspecting how things are progressing

those dressing ups in sarees

laden with jewelleries

taking assistance from anybody available

dressing up others in sarees

marching to PAN loop, RP, RK to see the Rangoli and the chatayis

returning dead tired

aching legs

no food

falling to bed

sleeping

smiling

nostalgia........

2008-10-01T14:26:00.000+05:30

I suffer from continuous bouts of nostalgia. But it had been since a while that I hadn’t had pangs of nostalgia. Rather I was very happy in my office life which kept me busy throughout the day, leaving me with no time to worry and remember the olden golden days.

Today at lunch hour, my senior who sits beside me showed me an email with rangoli in it and then it was back. I couldn’t stop myself from tapping the keyboard to get to my blog post where I had put some of the best illu/rangoli photographs of Kgp. This brings back the memories of illu, the exhilaration one felt after the diyas were lit and the chatayis shone brightly with equally shining faces in the totally dark night, those euphoric nighouts to frenetically complete the rangoli, to meet the deadline, which we always missed and then the last rangoli, the silver winning rangoli of SN.

I want to run away – but from what I myself don’t know. Run away from those golden moments of my life which are so deeply ingrained in me that I seldom feel away from that place. Run away from this life which has brought me so far from that carefree land of boisterous festivities and celebrations, where each small event called for celebrations. Dunno but am sure of the one emotion at the moment – going back to kgp and be a part of the rangoli team, maro nightouts, lighting the chatayis and finally seeing the glow on everyone’s face as the diyas are fully lit.

ek aur din ka gujar jana...

2008-09-25T10:25:00.001+05:30

Subah subah uthna aur fir khidki se bahar halke dhundhalke ko dekhna

Kitchen mein jana aur pyar se apne liye nashta banana

Daudte huey bus mein chadhna aur ek seat ka milna

Platform ke ek sirey se dusre sirey tak train pakadne ke liye daud lagana

Aur fir seat ka milna aur us par khush hona

Bhari bag taangey huey morning walk karte huey office pahunchna

aur fir office mein shaan se baith kar chatting, padhai aur surfing karna

koi kaam na hone par apne senior ke kaam mein help karna

aur fir shaan se apna banaya hua tiffin khana

fir shaam ko nikalna didi ke yahan

chalti train mein kudna aur jhaptna seat ki aor

aur seat milne pe khushi se paper nikal kar baaki ki news padhna

aur train mein kisi anjaan se dostana baat hona

idhar udhar ki gappe aur experiences share karna

aur fir muskurate huey apne apne raste chalna

train ki khidki se bahar samandar ko dekhna

aur durr ki buildings mein lights ka jalna

line se dikhti hui roshni se bhari hui duniya

aur is taar ko todti kuch chalti roshniiyan

aur fir train jab saanp ki tarah mudne lage

to darwaze ke paidaan pe khadey hokar

train ko mudta hua dekhna

aur us mudte huey train ke saath tandi hawa ka lagna

chalti train se kudna

aur doston ki hidayaton ko bhoolna

ghar pahunchne par uska muskurata hua chehra dekhna

aur uska zor se “mausi” chillana

khelna uske saath

sudoku banana

aur itne dinon ki baatein batana

aur uski diary padhna

uski paintings dekhna

aur usey uska gift dena

saath mein khana khaate huey

didi ki daant sunte huey

gappe haankna

aur sudoku solve karna

aur fir apni god mein uska sar le kar usey sulana

aur subah wapas nikalne se pehle

uska muskurata chehra dekhna

aur uska mujhe bye karna

aur uska window se mujhe wave karna

aur uske khayal se pure din ka khushnuma hona

aur aankh se ek boond aansoon ka tapakna…………

aur ek aur din ka gujar jana

matrimonial.com

2008-09-24T11:46:00.000+05:30

My friends love me too much. I had not realized it until recently when they engaged themselves into finding a suitable boy for me.

Well well well, I am single at the moment but not looking. And I have explained it to them a number of times but they don’t seem to understand that. My roommate is already committed and is most excited about double dating. Who can explain to her that if you are getting free lunches and dinners and movies without a commitment why would you go for one? :P Plus I have the advantage of roaming around without being bothered by ONE person who will keep track of my movements. And the other friend, he just like this match making business. He already has set me up for affairs, only if I had relented I would have been multiple dating at the moment. And to say he himself has retired (hurt – dunno) from this dating business. Before when I knew him in college days he always had a long list of supposed and real girl friends. And the list seemed never ending for a while.

And so if I talk about a new guy more than 5 times, he is automatically added to my crush list. If I talk to a guy over phone or exchange message he becomes another entry to the list. And if I dare to go for a movie or lunch or dinner with a person - or a date – that’s not what I would want to call it, the person becomes a sure shot for my matrimonial prospects. Thankfully they have not tried arranging dates for me (My ultimate nightmare since I had these discussions with them)

God please give them enough work so that they don’t indulge in getting me a suitable boy. Otherwise this sweet and happy life of mine would turn into a Jane Austen classic.

Local Train: Learning lessons and unlearning them

2008-09-17T17:42:00.002+05:30

6-7 months back
i was in kgp then and always roaming around with my equally jhand friends. Once while returning from local train with friends, dunno what I was thinking, I got down before the train had evenstopped on the platform. This defiance of the rules of Physics made me land on the platform on all four, teaching me never to try boarding or getting down from a running train, even though it has slowed down. Also the story was used as a reminder for somebody even remotely mentioning getting down from a running train.

1 month back
I had just arrived in Mumbai and had just the first brush with the unsympathetic crowd of local train. Being a girl, I traveled in Ladies compartment and soon learnt that being a part of the fairer sex doesn’t help much in a local train. Rather the life is tougher in a ldies compartment where it’s a snatch and grab world and you cannot wait for somebody to spoon-feed you. Learning most of my lessons of Local Train journey the hard way, I had vowed that I would just grab a seat and be happy and not concern myself with anybody else. Also I was keeping my vow of not boarding a running train or getting down from it.

1 month later
Seems I haven’t learnt my lessons or have now grown to love standing in the crowded train. These days, I just jump into a crowded compartment with no place to set a foot into it, somehow grab the pole on the door, get some place for both my feet and then let the ppl behind me push me inside the compartment. Most of the time I have to run to board my train as waiting for a train with some free space in its compartment is a far fetched dream in this over-crowded city. Same way, while getting down from the train, I ready myself 2-3 stations before and either allow the crowd behind me to drag me to the platform or just jump off the near slow train. These days I even let go off my hard earned local train seat.

If you are wondering that I have grown benevolent, then the answer is No. Already learnt my lessons and allowed them into my reflexes, I just ready myself for getting down at the right station :-D

Local Train @Mumbai: Overheard

2008-09-10T11:51:00.000+05:30

CA1: “I face problem in reaching station on time. Rarely do I get an auto-wallah on time. L”
CA2: “Oh, Why don’t you hire an auto on daily basis?”
CA1: “No, No. You don’t know the problems one might face in such a situation.”
CA2: “What problem?”
CA1: “They may burgle your house after knowing your timings.”
CA2: “Yeah, that is risky.”
CA1: “My colleague hired one such auto and can you imagine what happened?”
CA2: “What?”
CA1: “The auto-wallah proposed to her :P”

Local Train @ Mumbai: Part2

2008-09-04T18:01:00.001+05:30

Local train journey in Mumbai in a ladies coach is generally monotonous, but sometimes gets interesting. It depends upon what you consider to be interesting. If you are interested in quarrels and cat-fights, you would be very amused. These ladies who seem to be bored of their routine life, suddenly turn so violent that you are scared of the woman power. Once I witnessed a quarrel in train where a boy tried to bully another vendor boy and tried to snatch his earnings. (This part is what I got to hear later and so don’t know the truth in it as I was not aware of the commotion till their voices were raised.) Initially I thought it was a small verbal argument going on between two vendors which was a commonplace thing in local train. But suddenly, there was action and the heroine was the elderly lady, who was shouting. Then I got to see the scene of her beating a small boy with her chappal. Still confused, I looked on further to realize that the boy had a small piece of glass in his hand and on being beaten by the lady, he was crying bitterly and tried to cut himself with the glass. Somehow the ladies got him out of the coach. Still scared, I was perplexed – both at the courage of the lady who later told her story heroically and at that boy who had cut himself many times( I had managed to notice the cut marks on his hand – don’t know if he made them himself.). I continued my journey trying to put the scene out of my mind.

The other day, while coming to office, I found a group of ladies chattering. They seemed the same careless self we used to seem when we were in college. I thought they were in the same office or locality but again was astounded to find that they made their acquaintance while traveling in local train. Still wondering if I would ever have such friends over my small tryst with local trains, I was again taken with surprise when I saw one lady massaging other who had some back problem and vice versa. I couldn’t stop wondering how one could manage such friendship just by traveling in local train.

And yet the same day was to show me another kind of people. This time the train was very full. Somehow I had managed to get some place to stand near the window. Busy in my own world, my concentration was broken by commotion. This time I found that a girl fell on the other girl and then this girl started shouting, “Why are you leaning on me? Can’t you stand properly?” When the girl retaliated saying that the train was crowded and it wasn’t her fault, this girl started shouting in English and the funniest part was her shouting,” Why are you raising your voice?”

Cream to all these incidents was added when there was an announcement in the train, “Agla station kandivali. Station is side hai”

A Special Day

2008-08-30T11:04:00.003+05:30

I started the day in a normal way without expecting any excitement today. The previous day’s running around with a heavy bag and a running nose had me ending up crashing on my bed to go instantly to sleep. And so I just got up early to realize the water supply was cut and would resume at 6 only. So with nothing much to do, I went back to sleep and got up at 6 only to close the running tap. Finally got up at 6:30 and somehow pushing myself to get ready for the office, I finally came out of bathroom at 7:15 to find a message waiting for me on my phone. Thinking it to be from my friend, whom I was to meet later, I opened the message to find that my salary had been credited to my account.

It took me few seconds to grasp that it was FIRST SALARY and then I was jumping with excitement. As usual called up my elder sister to tell her the news first, but couldn’t get through. Then I called my parents one by one telling them about the big event. And then I messaged my friends.

I was so happy, so excited and I wanted to celebrate. And then I felt bit lonely. I missed my family, my friends with whom I would have wanted to share the moment. Next salaries will be routine thing but the First one - it’s something I had been waiting for quite a long time. Something for which I had toiled so hard, something for which I cleared JEE and got into IIT, something for which I had made so many plans long before joining IIT when I had nothing concrete with me but just my dreams. Something for which I faced so many interviews and waited patiently, undeterred till I landed myself with a job. It was a moment of accomplishment for which my family was waiting eagerly. I had made endless plans with my parents, my sisters, my brother, my friends as to how I would spend it. My mother, when I told her about it was so speechless that she couldn’t even express the emotions she felt at the moment.

I am still short of words to describe how I am feeling right now, at this moment. Yeah, this is my moment of achievement, the moment of celebration. The days to come would be routine, seeing change in jobs, in places and in many other things. But this moment, this feeling would be something special which I will always cherish. Like the time I got my 10th Board results, the moment when I knew I had secured a seat in IIT, my dream college, the moment I had got the confirmation of my job, the moment I knew I had cleared all my pre-requisites for getting my degree and the moment I had my degree in my hand.

Yeah, it’s my moment, my day.

Local Train @ Mumbai

2008-08-29T16:17:00.001+05:30

Local train part 1
Kalyan to CSTM/VT
My uncle escorted me and my father to the station, punched the coupons and then took us to the nearby platform where we found an empty train waiting for us. We boarded the train and soon it was full. But it wasn’t what I had heard of Mumbai. There was still some place to stand and people sat comfortably in their seats. Though surprised, I was happy to get a place. And then I was caught unawares that same afternoon when I found the train full with barely a place left to sit. Somehow we got seats within two stations and our journey though bit uncomfortable turned out not to be so uncomfortable.
The next few days made me realize that the reality was not what I had faced on the first day but what I had heard and seen about Mumbai. The trains always were crowded but getting my train timings better, I managed to get myself a seat.

Local train part 2
Panvel to VT
Slightly aware of the time it would take me to get to the office around 9:30, I got myself at the station around 8:15 and then boarded the nearly empty train. I soon drew the conclusion that Panvel trains were less crowded but again realized my mistake in drawing a quick conclusion without assessing the whole situation. At Vashi, I was met with a crowd of ladies who which was ready to push anyone out of its way. Peacefully I continued the journey thanking myself for catching the right train. The return journey had more lessons to teach me about train timings. After leaving the office at my normal time, when I reached the platform, I was astonished to find a train so jam-packed that even an ant couldn’t get itself through. I decided to let it go and catch the next one.
Already learnt my lesson, I left the office early next day. I was happy at my wisdom and waited for the train at the platform. Seemed I hadn’t had enough lessons for a week, I saw the train come but the crowd didn’t leave their seats. Determined not to waste my time waiting for another train, I somehow found some place to set my foot and boarded the train. A station later, I sat at the end of a seat and was thankful that I had at last managed myself a seat. Throughout the journey I was reminded of all the cartoons which showed a person sandwiched between two people or in a crowd.
Already having my share of lessons, I learnt not to experiment and not to be too daring and to capture the seat as soon as an occupant vacated it. The journeys afterwards became a routine where I always succeeded in getting a seat.

Local train part 3
Andheri, Borivali to VT
The first day when I went to Andheri station, I was faced with a crowd I had never seen before and it took me around 15 minutes to reach the right side of the station. Then for the first time I realized the difference in the two sides of a station – east and west side.
Anyways always ready to learn from my mistakes, I soon moved to the company’s flat and was ready for my first train from Borivali to VT. That day I learnt another important lesson – never think that you had enough lessons, you will be proved wrong as soon as you do. First day I just managed somehow to board the train and got myself a seat just before the last station. Second day, I jumped into the running train. Lesson learnt – never get off a train to get a better seat, you may miss the train which is standing on the platform.

Local train part 4
Well learning from my past experiences, I think I had learnt a bit about local trains and ladies and crowds. And so when I went to see my relatives after shifting to Borivali, I was confident of not repeating the mistakes again. But seems there is some Greater force always on play to prove me wrong. On my journey part 2 to Panvel and Kalyan, I barely managed to get a seat, was crushed by the HUGE ladies and was once on the verge of getting thrown out of the train with the outgoing crowd.

Since then, I have vowed not to feel over-confident while traveling in a local train in Mumbai and thank that Greater Power whenever I would succeed in getting a seat. And also to be always ready for some new lessons.

Yeh hai Mumbai meri Jaan.....

2008-08-27T10:37:00.002+05:30

Just one more day, before I complete my 1 month in Mumbai and the lot I have done till now seems like a dream, though it isn’t one. Coming from a very small village/town, I was not sure of where I would end up in future, but somehow kept dreaming and somehow realizing some of the dreams. One such dream was getting into IIT, which paved the way for the future for me. Though the 6 years that I spent there were not all breezy but it let me dream bigger and bigger. I faced one of my most depressing phases while in Kgp, and getting through that phase has been one of my biggest accomplishments till date.
And now I am living the Mumbai dream (or nightmare as some may state it). But I have realized one fact that the way you see the world is the way you live it. And I, too after passing the initial phase of depression, am enjoying the local train rides, the rush on the roads and trains and everywhere you step in Mumbai, the joy of living single in a big apartment without knowing your next door neighbors, moving in new localities without any idea about anything, the night rides in trains and buses, knowing new people without any prior acquaintances and making friends out of them and most of all the freedom to do anything. I feel this one month has changed me a lot and took out the daring, fearless girl inside who never hesitates to face any situation of adverse conditions.
All in all, Mumbai life is mazedaar.

TASHAN!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-08T13:47:00.002+05:30

Being a movie freak, I have the tendency to watch any movie however bad or good the reviews maybe just for the sake of watching it once. I will watch it again or not depends upon various factors like my liking it, the movie being so dull so as to leave no impression on my mind (resulting in my watching it accidentally twice) or so high funda that I have to watch it again to catch the essence of the so highly acclaimed movie.

Most of the times I find movies just OK, not worth watching 2nd time but not that bad as they were reviewed by others. And so fully aware of what I was in for, I started to watch TASHAN.....yaaron da TASHAN, bachchan pandey da TASHAN, bhaiya ji ka TASHAN, life mein TASHAN.............the tag line just goes on and on.

And guess what..........I was really Rolling on the floor Laughing after watching the movie. Nothing made any sense, the story if there was any I didn't notice it, the stars made me wonder what were they doing in this movie jumping like monkeys, mouthing some version of Hinglish which I haven't heard anywhere before and wearing weird wigs singing some song which barely made sense than any of the other things in the movie.

Nothing made sense, other than the fact that it brought a smile on my face which was actually laughter after having a really tension full day. I am sure that I am never ever gonna watch this movie in my sane mind, but then it is also a fact that I really enjoyed watching something so mindless.

P.S. Don't watch it untill you wish to be brain-damaged :D

my best friend's wedding

2008-06-25T23:39:00.002+05:30

Exactly one month from now my best companion in kgp is going to be married. We have already started planning what we friends are going to do, how to get her place, what gifts to buy and blah blah........................but somehow it is not sinking in.......her getting married. To be wearing those heavy dresses and jeweleries, sitting across the fire to her life partner, taking her wedding vows.

We had anticipated this event for quite long but now that it's almost here, it is seeming a bit queer. Something which was always meant for people who were old enough to get married. Something yet not achieved by us.

Anyways here's to wishing her a happy and long married life :-)

random

2008-06-10T17:47:00.007+05:30

speechless
some emotions bubbling inside
want to come out but am not getting the proper words
or may i say am confused
am speechless
wordless
so what is this that i am trying to write
am still not sure
just
trying to align my thoughts
and think
concentrate
on what is occupying my mind
Is This Helping
Am not even sure of that
so what am I sure of -
my speechlessness
my confused state of mind
which is not allowing me to think reasonably
OK enough of this
crap
enough
Enoughhhhh
Enuffffffffffffffffffffffff
StOp
just STOP!!!!!!!!!!!

random philosophy

2008-05-15T09:05:00.005+05:30

There was a teacher in my school who used to tell us, "When comparing fortunes and lucks compare yourself with the less fortunate ones so that you can appreciate the situation you are in better."

I have heard this line many times and have uttered it myself without considering the meaning seriously even once. Here I am, with so good opportunities, job offers, high aspirations, dreams and goals which have come true and here I am cribbing again and again about how I want more and more of each and every thing and how less I have got. Without even thinking that many would have thought themselves to be fortunate enough to be in my position, would have been happy, content. Many are not even fortunate to find even one of their dreams turned to reality whereas I had more than one such chance.

Nah, I am not being benevolent and thinking of doing something for those less fortunate, let me first get what I want from my life, but in the meantime I need to learn to appreciate what I have, where I am, instead of just complaining about everything. I need to realize that though I should not be content with what I get, I should not at the same time disregard its value. I am not content but yeah am happy to be in the situation where I am.

experimentations......

2008-04-23T11:14:00.002+05:30

SN has always been the favorite spot for profs ( warden, HMC, dean, diro etc etc) for all kind of weird rules.

Like the 10:30 rule where the SN girls are not allowed outside hall but the rule was strictly for the 1st years. Seniors had concession there of staying late and then write in the late register.

Like the weird proposition of shutting down the fruit stall doing good business. Reason only being that it was used by the couples as a favorite hangout which didn't go well with the conservative ideas of the then HMC chairman.

Like not allowing our friends or family inside the hall, just till the foyer (but that too had a time limit of 10 pm) and then allowing the male workers to come and go inside the hall without much restrictions.

etc etc etc

Anyways the reason why I am writing this new post is not the older experimentations but the newest 11-5 rule.

After we got a new warden, we took a breath of relief that we finally were free of CC's clutches but little did we know what was in store for us. Due to IIT students getting beaten outside and some other reasons I don't know much about, the administration had already shut the campus gates for us. Nothing would be open beyond 11 pm and we were adjusting to that rule. And then came the 11-5 rule at SN which stated that all the girls ( only SNiites) had to be back in the hall by 11 pm and if they didn't abide by the rule they would have to stay outside till 5 in the morning as the gates of the hall would be locked.

Yeah, when we told our friends about it they laughed on the stupid rule. A campusite who's our friend when told about the rule commented what crap was that( coincidently she happens to be the daughter of the prof who implemented this rule) . As stated by one friend of ours,"bande pit kar aate hain aur tala SN ke bahar pad jata hai :D"

Anyways we tried to protest against the rule and hence went to our warden to tell her about our problem and she just ward us off saying it was not her doing but the Dean and hence if we had any complaints we were free to go to him. We tried to argue with her that she was there to listen to our problems and put that infront of the authorities but she simply shied us away saying it was not her responsibility. She didn't even listen to our pleas.

Undeterred we decided to meet the Dean and called him for an appointment. Something about his tone warned us the meeting was not going to be fruitful but we decided to give it a last try. Assembling around 30 girls, we went to Dean where he first scolded us for assembling there and to create a nuisance. Then he allowed only 2-3 to speak to him.

The meeting went as anticipated by us. We also got to know that the warden would not allow us to call Dean from her office or would make a call on our behalf but she made a call to him as soon as were out of his office telling him SN girls harassed her and were complaining against her. Never knew she would be such a cry baby.

Anyways here we are now stuck in our rooms in this sweltering heat, without any freedom to go out and cool us off when the weather is bit cooler. There may be some urgency some time when somebody needs to go out after 11, maybe somebody got stuck outside because of some un-forseen reason. What are we to do then?? But the issue more important than that is why only SN has to abide by the rule when there are other girls' hall in the campus whose freedom has not been locked inside their hall or why this discrimination to girls to stay inside and boys having all the freedom in the world to roam around whenever and wherever they want to?? And just because they can't implement it in boy's hall they choose SN for their experiment!!!!

Hope they are soon tired of this locking stuff and these experimentations on SN and not make our always fun stay in kgp hellish in the last moments of our kgp stay.

kora kagaz

2008-04-21T01:05:00.002+05:30

mera jeevan kora kagaz kora hi reh gaya...........
udte panchi ka thikana, mera na koi jahan
na dagar hai, na safar hai, jana hai mujhko kahan
banke sapna humsafar ka saath reh gaya.........

farewell blues and nostalgia

2008-04-18T01:54:00.003+05:30

somehow it is still not sinking in and at the same instant i get the feeling of what life is gonna be without all these people on my side.

had dep farewell, but somehow didn't feel any emotions about leaving the department. when asked to say few words, just managed to mutter few words and thanked all.

when returned to hall farewell, the function had already started. it felt queer to sit there in sarees and wait for your turn to speak few words of goodbye. had been preparing this speech for the last 4 years and still was unprepared. and finally came after shouting "Yo SN!!! Yo Kgp"

sounds queer na. i came soon from the dep function to attend this one at hall and when the moment came to say goodbye was just speechless. anyways this was not the worst part - it came later when the scrolls were being read and the 4th years were reading them for their batchmates.

couldn't stop my eyes from getting wet remembering the farewell we gave to our batchmates last year. and then realised that we had got our farewell last year only when our batchmates, our friends left. this time was some extra time we spent here with their memories, keeping them always with us.

not that i am crying on leaving this place or something like that, just that there is an emptiness which is seeping inside as the time to leave approaches and i dread that day when i would be bidding goodbyes to my friends. can't even think of that.

love you all my dear friends। your support was the thing which made my stay at kgp the most memorable part of my life. just wish that such good times come in future too :-)

"दील चाहता है............ कभी न बीते वह चमकीले दीन......................."

olden golden days

2008-03-30T10:36:00.003+05:30

Kgp has so many memories associated with it, with every place. Each point, each place has got some thing to remind.

Yesterday we went to Tata Sports Complex after a treat and sat there chatting about random things. All the while I could not stop myself from remembering the old times.

I remember the time we went to veggies, had lunch there and then there was small argument over some matter. and one of us just barged out of veggies, back to his hall without having his food. Contemplating what happened, we got his lunch packed and went to his hall, waited for him to come and then went to TSC, sat on the stairs in broad daylight and ate the almost cold lunch. Then we all just ran around the ground after each other, carrying small twigs, taking snaps in weird poses.

It was our exam time and either our papers were over or we were just jhandaoing like all other times. We sat there till sun started to come down and it was time for papers to get over. So we called up our friends who had papers. She came to TSC, we all again sat for few more moments, finally deciding to go to Harry's. But instead we went back to our hall for something i don't remember. There we met another friend returning from her paper. By then we had made the plan to go 90 degrees. She agreed. Few more phone calls and we got all the people who were willing to come to 90 degrees. We stopped at Harry's to grab some food and went cycling to 90 degrees. Stayed there for a while, throwing pebbles in the nearby pond, all the while munching chips and drinking some cold drinks.

Soon it started growing dark, and so we started our journey back. We sang at top of our voices and some rowdy people started following us. We cycled back frantically and were relieved only after we entered the campus. It had become pretty dark by then and we decided never to go back there so late.

And as the usual ending to any trip or adventure, our last stop was Sahara( if I remember correctly). Had our dinner, discussed the events of the day, promising ourselves that we would again make a trip like that( planning again as usual), and happily we went back to our halls.

Ahhhh.................those olden golden days................those laughters......those carefree moments with no worries................Kgp.............love you a lot for all those wonderful moments :)

kaash

2008-03-28T15:53:00.000+05:30

काश हम भी computer के hard drive की तरह होते..........
जब मन चाहता पूरा format कर के zindagi नए सीरे से लीखते..........

Life of Pi

2008-03-25T18:57:00.002+05:30

Was reading "Life of Pi" few days back. mortifying tale of a 16 yr old's survival in the Pacific ocean for 227 days.

I started reading the book and was appalled by the adventures he had, how he survived and how I believed every word written there in the book, though I knew it was a work of fiction. and then there was the shock on reaching the last chapter. Somehow couldn't make myself believe the story. Was actually wondering which of the two tales was the real version, the events as they happened. And couldn't decide. If I found the first version to be mortifying, the second one was just not human(horrible seems a very feeble emotion for what the boy went through). Survival but at the cost of what?

The book is really appalling, the tale a fable where each passing moment persuades you to abandon your faith and yet each moment strengthens it. Must read for all - the tale of Piscine Molitor Patel.

Time Travel

2008-03-18T11:30:00.002+05:30

Recently have been bit unsatisfied with the turn of events in my life and so I wondered what could I do to change it. And then I thought of going back in time and changing things so that they don't turn out the way they did. How peaceful our lives will become if we could time travel and undo all our mistakes. The idea is exciting but there are few things which I don't want to change. What about that? Would it be possible to keep them intact.

And whenever I ponder upon this thought, I always think of 'Butterfly Effect' where each attempt to undo the past mistakes resulted in something or the other getting worse. So the altered life would be good to live in is also not sure. One would have to give up something dear to let the things be right but would that life be really that much fun?

10 things I hate

2008-03-11T18:05:00.002+05:30

1 I hate being taken for granted.
2 I hate being unable to fulfill my obligations
3 I hate being sick and lonely
4 I hate when people don't understand me
5 I hate being taken advantage of
6 I hate people being so logical but so insensitive
7 I hate people neglecting me
8 I hate when I am unable to say what I think
9 I hate not being able to do what I want
10 I hate not being with people who matter to me the most

bag of mixed feelings

2008-02-27T12:47:00.000+05:30

As the time draws closer, it is generating mixed feelings. I am excited by the prospects future lays in store for me and then I am scared, of the same future. I don't want to leave the present sanctuary which had been my abode for a good part of my life and get shoved into the big bad cruel world. The only temptations are that I would be owning the money I intend to spend and that I would get to leave behind this place which I have hated and loved at the same time.

Actually I want the stay to grow longer - this is in respect to the time I spend with my friends and the time I spend just lazing around but there is a part which I detest, which I want just to fly away is the sole reason for my being here - to finish my studies. How much I wish with every passing day that I shouldn't have opted for this course, should actually have left this place last year only and not wear down myself here cribbing about past mistakes and unfinished tasks.

But then there is this part which is apprehensive of what will happen after this life? Would my friends stay with me? Will the things still be same despite the distances? Would I be able to sustain myself on my own? All these thoughts scare me, though I am sure of few shoulders to get support whenever I want but still one can't stop wondering.

I think I would love the freedom, the independent status and the pleasure of earning, have even started dreaming how things are gonna be once I join the office but am sure to miss all the long bhaat sessions, small cooking experiments in our room-kitchen :D, all the fights and teasings, those long walks in schols-ave, those stupid non-sensical talks and the laughters after that, our trips to Cal and the plannings we did for them.

Am gonna miss all those but hope to rekindle the experience from time to time. Have already started planning :D

AMUL

2008-02-21T11:23:00.021+05:30

Have always loved the Utterly Butterly Delicious Ads of Amul and when I stumbled upon the Amul site, was astounded by the participation of the product with every thing in our lives. Here are some of them which I liked.

Clinton or Obama ??

Amul smitten by Himesh Reshammiya's Aap Ka Suroor

Amul - the wonder food for years and the perfect solution for a Bheja Fry

Connecting with Rashtrapati(/patni) ji and the Angry Old Cheeni Kum Man

Taking a stand on Narmada Dam Issue and the Reservation quota in IIT's

more snippets can be found at Amul Hits

CLOSURE

2008-02-15T16:10:00.004+05:30

Thank You,
Had it not been for you,
I would have led a confused life,
I would not have known the path I wanted to tread.

Thank You,
For had it not been for you,
I would not have seen the hard ground of reality,
I would not have come out of my illusions and dilemma.

Thank You,
For making me stronger,
For making me capable of survival,
For making me a person I never thought I would succeed in becoming,

Thank you for all you did for me,
Thank you for all that you didn't do for me,
Thank you for being there,
And thank you for letting me go,
And when you set me free, the only thing I want to say to you is
"THANK YOU".

life at Kgp : courtesy Dual Degree

2008-02-13T00:02:00.000+05:30

somewhere between 6:30 - 8:30:
message on gtalk - dinner??
answer invariably is - yup/1/haan
followed by - kahan/kab??

and then get ready or if feeling lazy just go out in whatever you are wearing
have a peek at mess
good food : nibble some
bad food : just keep on walking
rest time : don't even bother to look at mess

checks before leaving hostel
cards : yes :)
rubik's cube : sometimes
money : well, if you have some grab it otherwise don't bother
(somebody will surely pay for you )

meet at SN gate
proceed towards Sahara
order a meal (if hungry)
otherwise just order a salad and cold drinks

next 1 hr - card game and food and some bhaat
time to close the restaurant
pay bill and stroll lazily to hall
have a stroll in scholars' avenue or insti
argue over some small matter
give some fundae
make some plans
debate over some news or scientific blah blah
tease mota over his motapa
say bye and g'night

go to room
chat some more
plan some more plans/trips
go to sleep to start a new day in the same way :D

yun hi

2008-02-07T23:12:00.000+05:30

nadi ki dhara mein behte behte pata na chala
kab dono hum beh chale alag kinaron ko
saath chalte chalte pata hi nahi chala
kab raahein juda ho gayi apni

newest addiction

2008-02-07T00:05:00.000+05:30

Few days back only i was counting my days at kgp and was hoping they would end soon, and here i am now, hoping they would linger for as long as possible. Reason - cards!!!

For the last few days, we have been going out for meals every possible time, going out for 2.2s and playing cards ( this is my first time playing cards and i have gotten addicted badly). Everyday we will go out for dinner, take the shadiest table and after placing our orders will take our pack of cards and start playing till our food lasts. Once as soon as we finished our food, the waiters approached us and asked us the time. We got the message loud and clear and left the place soon not to visit it again :D

we went to Kolaghat in train for the same purpose, kataed events at SF for playing cards ( and got warned by the security personnel), went to PD and played cards ( and got our order served for record time), went to see off a friend and bought a new pack of cards and started playing then and there in the station like all the juwaris :D

next we plan to go visit a nearby jungle, take some snacks and sandwiches and play cards :D (and if that succeeds will think of other similar plans )

blank

2008-01-29T21:06:00.000+05:30

this feeling of blankness is growing and i am unable to curb it. i am still the out-going, movie freak, lazy, dreamy person but something is changing. i have never felt so lonely and that too when surrounded by so many dear ones - or am i kidding myself? dunno. am just weary of this growing loneliness at the time when i have so many things to share with so many people. feeling nostalgic as the time is approaching to leave the place which had been my sanctuary for the last 6 years and still i wonder what am i leaving behind. am feeling choked, suffocated. hope this feeling leaves me soon.

all you need is love

2008-01-22T18:07:00.000+05:30

was never much fan of Beatles. I was just aware it was a very popular rock band of 60s -70s.

my friend asked me to watch Across the Universe and then I realised that all these days i was keeping myself away from the magic of Beatles. The movie, musical with story entwined around Beatles songs, is a brilliant tribute to the band. And the way the songs were incorporated in the story, it never felt that the songs were written at different times, with nothing to do with this story. The best was the filming of the song "I Want You". The choreography of the scene was simply awesome, and then the one with the song " Come Together". A musical treat for Beatles fans.

"Is there anybody going to listen to my story
All about the girl who came to stay?
She's the kind of girl you want so much
It makes you sorry
Still you don't regret a single day.
When I think of all the times I've tried SO HARD to leave her
She will turn to me and start to cry;
And she promises the earth to me
And I believe her
After all this time I don't know why."

"I've just seen a face
I can't forget the time or place where we just met
she's just the girl for me
and I want all the world to see we've met
Had it been another day
I might have looked the other way
and I'd have never been aware
but as it is I'll dream of her tonight"

"Oh yeah, I'll tell you something,
I think you'll understand.
When I'll say that something
I want to hold your hand."

"I have never known the like of this
I've been alone and I have missed things
and kept out of sight"

"If I fell in love with you
could you promise to be true
And help me understand
'Cause I've been in love before
And I've found that love is more
That just holding hands"

"Close your eyes and I'll kiss you,
Tomorrow I'll miss you;
Remember I'll always be true.
And then while I'm away,
I'll write home ev'ry day,
And I'll send all my loving to you"

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

cute licking pets for mobile

2008-01-07T17:50:00.000+05:30

nah nah, it's not my idea of a Bplan. just came across this ad while surfing :D

what else is left to go mobile :P

new year resolutions

2008-01-01T17:05:00.000+05:30

Happy New Year!!!!!!

It's time again to leave behind the uncompleted resolutions and make new ones. Here are few of mine:-

Watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. - Have watched it twice and am planning to watch more of it :D

Eat more - Thankfully I still need to gain some weight so can still eat as much as i want :D

More frequent trips - Seems I have spent my kgp life in Kgp only. So want to atleast visit the nearby places and cal trip to hoti hi rehti hai.

Read more novels - Had been a long time that I read novels. Have collected many novels but had little time to read them all. Am planning to finish them this year :-)

Watch my to be watched list movies - Added many movies to my "to watch list" but haven't finished them yet. Either will watch them or get them on CDs/DVDs/etc/etc

Blogging regularly - Have blogged recently but not regularly. Is a good way to vent out whatever one had experienced without bothering others.

and if I am left with some time after all these, I plan to attend some classes and do my project work ( Thankfully they are the last things in my list :-P )

Taare Zameen Par

2007-12-27T22:49:00.000+05:30

It's placement season @ kgp and depressed and frust and nothing better to do, finally i watched this movie on my computer screen. And couldn't stop water coming out of my eyes. Amir Khan is brilliant as a director and acting was amazing by him and young Darsheel Safary and the rest of the cast.

The movie made me remember my own childhood, the school assembly, tiffin recess and our waiting for every possible way of getting out of the class and rushing to the bus after the school was over. made me remember how we were scared of our teachers whenever we forgot our homeworks. And dreaded the moment when we had to get home a bad result or a complaint from the teacher( there were very few). Reminded me how we loved running all around and shouting at the top of our voices, those quarrels which we had amongst friends but were always scared to tell to our parents. And also the thick ruler my father used while making us do our homeworks and teaching us and whenever we played some pranks. There wasn't a moment where I couldn't identify with the young Ishaan, it seemed so long back when I was curious, when I enjoyed life without fearing the future. It was like a journey back to childhood. And the best part, it made me forget woes and worries even though just for a moment and made me enjoy whatever Ishaan was doing and enjoying.

Must Watch for everybody. Simply Wonderful!!!!

कोई दीवाना कहता है कोई पागल समझता है

2007-12-20T14:48:00.001+05:30

कोइ दीवाना कहता है कोइ पागल समझता है
मगर धरती की बेचैनी को बस बादल समझता है
तू मुझसे दूर कैसी है मैं तुझसे दूर कैसा हूँ
यह तेरा दील समझता है यह मेरा दील समझता है

मुहब्बत एक एहसासों की पावन सी कहानी है
कभी कबीरा दीवाना था कभी मीरा दीवानी है
यहाँ सब लोग कहते हैं मेरी आंखों में आँसू हैं
जो तू समझे तो मोती हैं नही समझे तो पानी हैं

Madhuri Rocks.......Aaja Nachle!!!!

2007-12-06T03:13:00.000+05:30

Have always been a fan of Madhuri, but in Aaja Nachle - she is mesmerising.

Aaja Nachle is true to its name. If you have even a bit of passion for dance and music and musicals, this is worth a watch. The movie will make you want to dance with Madhuri, the heart and soul of Aaja Nachle.

The story is quite predictable. Madhuri comes from a small town Shamali, now working as a choreographer in New York. She comes back to her town to meet her dying Guru and finds that the town's heritage Ajanata theater is about to be demolished. Gets a deal to save it if she could put up a show within two months with the town's residents. Then comes her journey of finding talent within the town and the show itself.

Madhuri dominates each and every frame of the movie, though every character is significant in her journey of saving Ajanta. And the vibrant colorful sets just add to the glittering performances. The last half an hour is a pure delight to the eyes.

In short, Aaja Nachle with Madhuri!!!

my angels

2007-12-02T00:28:00.000+05:30

when i came to kgp, i was very apprehensive about meeting new people and befriending them. not that i was unsocial kind, but didn't want to repeat few of my bad experiences with my friends in past.

and when i now look back to those days, i find myself worrying about nothing. i had dreamt of getting atleast 1 good friend, and here i am blessed with a bunch of so good friends that i have gotten back to my older carefree shelf.

the first one i found lived next door(actually it was 3-4 doors away but it felt just the next door). and we have stayed neighbors since then. even when my room was in one corner and her's on the other corner, we will always be together. return from somewhere and the first thing that my eyes look at is her door. had an awesome day, first tell her and whenever in despair, get her shoulder to cry upon. and the other one, she was a surprise. i found her sharing with me her innermost thoughts. she was like an oyster keeping every thing inside her but spreading brilliance when she opened up and since then have shared a very beautiful friendship.

the meeting with my next angel was in the class and he came to my help when i didn't know whom to approach. with his jolly nature he always had been a good company. Sometimes he felt too distant to share anything with me, but then we always have those small chit-chats and small actions of affection meaning a lot. despite the gaps, never felt out of touch and whenever we talked it felt as if we had never stopped talking.

and then there was a gust of new friends of which most have stayed till now. three friends i got around the same time and and have fallen in love with all of them. one of them became the most cherished relationship of my life, which never fails to bring a smile on my face. the other two became my greatest buddies.

the last one to happen was in my final year when i had lost hope of getting close to anybody else. after all i knew almost all the people around me and didn't think anything new could happen. but he did and now has become a part of my life. i tell him almost all the things about my life without even thinking once and just be myself which i am unable with most of the people. and if have nothing to talk, just say hi and there would be a something to talk about.

and not to forget the old friends, my biggest support - they have always been there. any problem i will run to them and would end up with a smile on my face( am not much sure of what it is the other way round :D). they are just sweethearts, always there with me - in happiness, in despair, in difficulties, in rejoicing - in everything.

thank you all dear...........just love ya all!!!!

is mod se jate hain

2007-11-15T19:59:00.000+05:30

ik durr se aati hai, paas aa ke palatati hai
ik raah akeli si, rukti hai na chalti hai
in reshmi rahon mein, ik raah to woh hogi
tum tak jo pahunchati hai
is mod se jaati hai

illu season @kgp

2007-11-11T09:20:00.000+05:30

it's a tradition........a passion which has ensued many fights and many debates........but still it brings a smile, a glow on the face of whoever was involved or had a glimpse of this tradition.

here is a glimpse of this culture at kgp known as

ILLU

season1 : 2003

season2 : 2004

season3 : 2005

season4 : 2006

and my own favorite that year.......the silver winner :-)

season finale : 2007the prize winners

and loved this one :-)

P.S. there are lot others worth mentioning which i couldn't include due to length. so whoever thinks i have missed their favorite ones don't take any offense :-)

happy diwali

2007-11-09T00:35:00.001+05:30

CYANIDE AND HAPPINESS

2007-11-05T14:47:00.002+05:30

CYANIDE AND HAPPINESS

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

bloxorz

2007-10-31T13:15:00.000+05:30

was engrossed with it and took me few days to complete all levels.

try it out @ bloxorz

kids!!!!

2007-10-25T19:05:00.000+05:30

During a school interview for admission,

Teacher: Who is the President of India?

Kid( who knew only three names, his own and his parents):My Father.

Teacher: how?

Kid: "I am sure abt myself that i am not president, my mother stays at home, so she isn't too. That leaves only my father who goes to work everyday to work, to be the president." :D

Mamma Mia from the Tony telecast

2007-10-12T23:32:00.001+05:30

A treat for ABBA fans

2007-10-11T09:25:00.001+05:30

DISILLUSIONED

Dunno what I am thinking, Dunno what I am doing
Am confused, vision blurred, body weak
Head aching, face contorted
Feeling lonely
Am not sure of this, am not sure of anything
Am I fooling myself?
What am I doing?
Or am I even doing anything?

2007-09-22T02:35:00.000+05:30

Thank you

You had always been there, when I needed you

With a smile on your face, lending your hand to me.

Shaken by the cruel world, I always turned to you

And you listened to my woes, pacifying me with your calm words.

Feeling desolate and lowly, I cribbed and cried,

And you always could show me something which made me the best.

Wanted to just talk, and I would call you

And you would listen to my incessant talking for hours.

No restraint, no hidden emotions,

My dear friend you gave me the freedom I was yearning for

You gave me the love, the strength to conquer this world.

Thank you for all you have done for me.

Thank you for always being there for me.

orkut

2007-09-22T01:46:00.000+05:30

it started when i was in my first year. i remember summer vacations after 1st year and my mailbox was flooded with orkut invites. at first i didn't join it due to the long profile form, but soon joined the latest trend.

and now it has become a life saver, an alarm, your contact with people whom u know but don't have the time to contact regularly. and day by day they are adding new features to it. and is getting better. at first didn't like the new all blue page - seemed very bland. but soon with every information u wanted just a click away, i have grown to like it.

am still not an addict, just a random visitor to the communities and to my own scrapbook, but the recently added features are making me visit it everyday, which is more than average for me. moreover i also ended up changing my profile pic and updating my album which was as it is since i created my new profile.

so whether i turn an addict or remain a random visitor, it cannot be denied that orkut has made life lot easier but with few side effects viz forgetting the b'day of your friend who hasn't put his b'day on orkut or chatting with your neighbour or friends through orkut though they are few doors away or spying or just random orkutting.

Long Live Orkut...............Orkut Zindabad!!!

my new companion

2007-09-19T08:24:00.000+05:30

i had always longed for a pet. not because i wanted a toy to play with or because i wanted to keep some animal captive. always wanted to have somebody to cherish - nothing better struck than having a pet.

i remember how much we tried to have a pet despite vehement opposition from my mom. she never liked the idea of pets - they would dirty the home she used to say. once my father brought home a puppy and that whole day went feeding and nursing him. my mother out of exasperation of seeing all those fussing and wooing that small animal, finally consented to keep the puppy but soon lost temper as soon as it pooped in living room. that was the story of one day of that puppy in my house.

we occasionally used to keep hen, but that was also for at-most for a week or so when it would be taken to slaughter and then we used to devour the poor little thing. maybe that was the thing which made me give up non-vegetarian food. once we kept a hen for quite some time. it started laying eggs. but taking care of hen is a difficult task. you can't even play with it as it won't be within your reach. so after sometime when it started dirtying the house too much, my mom again gave the ultimatum to send it away.

after this we never tried keeping a pet because we knew it would be hard upon mother to keep cleaning the house all the time when we had fun with the pet. so we just used to satisfy ourselves with the occasional visits to my uncle where they had many kittens and pigeons and a parrot. they even had a dog for some time. we played there and satisfied our pet-craving minds. we did try few more times to get a puppy but the endeavors never went forward talks.

We have many cats in our hostel mess, but the sight of those cats won't make you want to own them. moreover many friends have cat-phobia and so never thought of owning one of these cats. but last month one incident made my long wish come true. there was a cat removing squad which started picking all the cats from the mess and leaving them at some distant place.

this was a good step taken to make mess a healthy place to eat but it left 4 new-born kittens orphaned. these kittens were left by their mother in the staircase beside my room. initially i didn't know about the cat removal thing and so thought their mother to be very cruel as to leave these small kittens to die. but soon came to know about the truth. and then came the difficult task of keeping these kittens alive. a very kind junior of mine started taking care of them and fed them everyday. i used to watch the daily ritual. but never attempted to do anything myself.

but soon i could not keep myself away from those kittens and started playing with them. by now they had started trying to drink milk themselves. but still somebody had to take care of giving them milk everyday. and i started feeding them. everyday as soon as they heard the sound of milk being poured they would leap towards me and then drink the milk.

we wanted to give them names but couldn't decide on good ones and so soon we started calling them by any name we liked. the names which finally stuck were simba, timba, pumba and mumbo-jumbo. out of these four one was brown and the other three had black brown spots over white. the brown one was easily distinguishable and hence we called it simba. rest were just called by any of the other three names as we were unable to distinguish between them.

then one day after i came back from class, i couldn't see them at their usual place. i was worried. i went about asking people about the kittens and came to know of a monkey attacking them and so we decided we had to keep them inside somebody's room. i volunteered and since then they made my room their home.

life was fun with these four. when they would all cuddle up and sleep in the bucket in my room, they looked the cutest thing in the whole world. as soon as they heard the sound of milk being warmed they would start shouting like small kids and as soon as the milk was poured into their saucer they leaped to gulp it down. simba was the most enthusiastic of the lot and had the greatest share of milk they had. it was the first one to reach the then highest point in my room -stack of three bags. when i tried making it out of their reach by keeping them over a chair, they climbed over that too. when i returned from class they would all cuddle around me and after they were given a bath they slept so peacefully on my lap that i felt bit similar to putting human baby to sleep on my lap.

but good things don't last forever. after we bathed them the second time, we became bit careless and didn't warm them up properly. and exasperated of the staunch zoo-like smell in my room, i made them stay outside for one night so that i could keep my room clean for atleast a day and sleep in peace. that was the last day i saw all four of them together. hungry and devoid of any care and warmth of room, simba and timba went in search for a new home. next day morning i saw two of them and fed them, but they seemed to have lost their appetite. they didn't eat anything. by nightfall all were gone. we tried looking around for them nut couldn't locate them. after two days i found one in the mess and heard that one of them had died. i panicked and searched for others but couldn't find them. i cursed myself for being careless, for being not able to take care of them properly after taking the responsibility. that guilty feeling made me care for the one with me too much, but now it didn't like anything and cried most of the time. we could guess it was afraid and was missing it's brothers, but could do nothing to pacify it.

looking for a way to diagnose what was wrong with it, we questioned many people and like a miracle we came to know about another girl in the hostel who had saved another kitten of the lot. we brought it home and as soon as the one with me saw the other kitten, it stopped crying. and then they were happily living in my room. but again one day due to bad health i had to stay in friend's room and so they were left without food for a day. the next day i went and fed them. in afternoon i had a class and so i had to leave. sometime in between i don't know how, one of them again left the room and then we couldn't locate it again. sensing it too had perished, we continued taking care of the left one which i started calling "chimba" in memory of simba and coz of it's never ending cries for food and for love.

since then "chimba" is with me. i tried once to give it away to that other girl as i was feeling unable to take good care of it. we also considered giving it away at a feline care center. we had almost decided about giving it away, i was unhappy but felt it was the best for chimba. but somehow our every attempt to give it away failed. and so i kept it with me.

and so now every time i open my room's door, i can find it welcoming me with it's incessant cries. every time i get ready to go out for a class or something else, i can see in it's eyes the plead to not leave it alone.if i keep my door open and i can't find it in dark, i whistle and out of nowhere i see it rushing towards me. i don't look at it, don't give it any attention, then it will come galloping to me and climb over my lap and sleep there peacefully. sometimes when i get angry, i push it away from me and shout at it. and then it will become as meek as a mouse and go to it's small box and keep staring at me till i go to sleep. now as i write this blog, after having it's breakfast it is now taking a nap in my lap, calmly and serenely.

The August rain

2007-08-17T23:55:00.000+05:30

Just few days back, the skies were all grim, just pale blue without a speck of cloud to be seen in the vicinity. The mercury levels were soaring up with each passing day and the humidity and scorching heat made life almost impossible. The only place to save you from the torture of the nature was your own room or the comforting ac in library( though it didn’t have the comfort of the room).

The monsoons came and went and we didn’t feel it except that continuous one week long. Yeah none of us felt the rain come and go. And now it already felt summer time, the scorching, sweltering summer. Add to that the untimely power-cuts and the net disconnection. Life never felt so miserable at Kgp. At least we had the comfort of our room, the comfort of net which could let us forget all miseries(though I don’t spend much to do on net these days, it’s absence makes me feel crippled). We just cursed whatever we could curse. We prayed, hoped for some rain to come our way. We prayed to the nature to show us some mercy and give us some comfort from this heat and humidity.

The prayers weren’t answered till this week. And as we say, “ Dene wala jab bhi deta, deta chappar faadh ke”, when the prayers were answered, when nature took some mercy on us, it rained cats and dogs. It has been raining since morning. It was our mess off day and so as usual the lunch was bad. But the rains didn’t allow to go out for meals. Dinner was off in the mess but had to settle for the canteen Friday meal which i never take and that also only due to these rains. Had been stuck in the room whole day and had thought will take a walk, but the rains are not stopping.

And despite all these cribbing and complaints, I love this august rain. Ideal environment for reading a novel, even for studying or watching a movie lying on your bed or just for sleeping. And that’s what I did whole day. Slept, read a novel, studied, and at last just watched the rain through my window. And made myself a small meal in my room and enjoyed it with an episode of Friends. A perfect day, made all the more perfect due to this August Rain.

ek choti si love story

2007-08-13T23:36:00.000+05:30

he had just gone to attend his uncle's marriage ceremony. taking a break from the busy schedule of his school work and tuition, he just wanted to enjoy his short vacation. he didn't expect something eventful to happen there. and then he saw her for the first time. she was with the bride's party. a very lovely bride's maid and the moment he looked into her eyes, he forgot everything.

for the rest of the time he was there, those eyes kept him mesmerised, capturing his attention all the time.he could stop looking at her and tried to find an occasion to talk to her but soon it was time to take leave. he panicked. he hadn't had a word with her yet. actually she hadn't paid any attention to him. and so she missed this guy who was head over heels for her. and so she just left, leaving him craving for a moment with her.

he got to know later that she studied in lucknow, was from roorkee, was a distant relative of his. but all these information didn't do him any good coz soon he also got to know that she had a boyfriend there. and then he was broken. fully heart broken.

he had never set his eyes upon any girl. not that he was strictly controlled by his parents, but more coz never had any pair of eyes captured his attention for more than a day. never had somebody's smile went right to his heart. never had he just been thinking about one person 24 hrs a day. and now that this happened, he couldn't even approach her coz she was already taken.
soon he indulged himself with his studies and tried hard to forget about her. not long after, he heard about her marriage and his heart sank. but what was he to do? he simply tried to forget her and kept on going.

he never met her again till his sister's marriage. she was there again with her mesmerising eyes and heart-breaking smile. she looked lovely as a married woman. this time they talked. and he asked her to sing a song for him. and recorded it. and kept the song with him.

he is still going on with his life. with his studies. with his career. but he could never get over her. he has tried not to love her, but could never stop being in love with her. and so he just listens to her song and fills his emptiness with her voice.

a funny feeling

2007-07-23T21:04:00.000+05:30

yeah it is.

just few days back i was cribbing about our hall seeming to be haunted coz of lack of living souls. the empty rooms seemed to drain out every bit of life from us. there were just the few of our brethren here left to suffer the tortures of the heavenly downpours, loneliness and every possible evil.

and guess what it feels now, crowded - just crowded. somehow those days seem beautiful now.

seems i lastly had started to enjoy the freedom, the loneliness. had started to enjoy the feeling of being one of the few living souls left behind, of being able not to succumb to all the tortures - be it heavenly, devilish or earthly, i was ready to face all.

but with the arrival of 80+ first years in the hall and the hall full of all the normal residents, i am somehow afraid. afraid of belonging to the superior group called the 'Super Final Year' with nobody to hold the torch for us this time, nobody to lead the path. afraid of the newest lot of the strange faces. afraid of my responsibilities. afraid of my freedom. afraid of what future has in store for us.

and yet we had longed for the arrival of this day for so long.

what a vacation

2007-07-16T19:11:00.000+05:30

this year's vacation was no different than previous summer vacations since i joined kgp. with the only exception being the first year, i never have spent the whole vacation at home. the only reason responsible for my not trying for summer internship this year was i wanted to be at home. but did it happen as i planned........read on.

so just after the exams, viva and project eval ended, plans for going home were being made. but this was also the year when our frnds were leaving and so the heart was divided between going home and spending last time with them. finally decided to be here in kgp till they left. went home for just 2 days. returned and saw off all my frnds. the realisation that they won't be coming back after the vacations left me bit depressed, but cheered myself up thinking there would be many things to keep myself busy.

anyways even after they all left, i didn't leave kgp. this time to start some work on my mtech project. actually the real reason was that i didn't have an internship and my HOD had put a notice makiing the attendance thing compulsory, so this made me stay in kgp.

now you must be wondering how does it make much of a difference. you can simply have someone to put your proxy. and here's my problem - being the only girl, i m in a different hall and the fact that not everybody was in kgp made it harder for me to arrange a proxy for myself. anyways just giving attendance for the sake of 5k didn't seem a bad deal. and so i stayed on.

getting up everyday to give attendance was not bad, but yeah scouting everyday for food was really bad. and the heat of kgp made it worse. so either had the lunch in canteen or just stayed empty stomach. for dinner went out religiously but soon got bored of all the restaurants. waise bhi kgp mein khaane ke liye jyada options kahan hain.

but wait.......the best/worst is yet to come. the summer is coming to an end and the rains are yet to start. and as soon as the clouds start covering kgp sky, the electrical rewiring work starts in our hall. and soon the whole hall looks like it has been struck with a storm or an earthquake or something. to get the work in our rooms completed fast we try to get our rooms done first, which result in our spending 2 days without access to our rooms, spending the whole daytime in corridor playing 16 questions and just bhating and when we finally had our rooms ( still not fully to ourselves), we had no power - no light, no fan but darkness and insects and mosquitoes.

and now 2 week after the work in our wing started, the work is yet to be finished. you can see workers everywhere in the hall, doing road-metalling, foyer-beautification, white-washing, plumbers etc etc. dunno when are they going to complete, with just 2 days left for registration for the next sem. thankfully the work in our room has been completed though they haven't put the main switchboard yet.

and guess how many days i had at home( it was my the sole reason for not going elsewhere)......................just 10 days:(( :((

i wish i had gone for internship. atleast i would have seen a new place.

What a time pass

2007-07-12T18:52:00.000+05:30

in absence of anything worthwhile to do, i am watching movies these days. but again coz of the lack of the big sharers on dc i am just left with the old movies. so what am i watching? movies and movies and more and movies. and i am watching every other movie which i can get.

list of movies watched :

How to steal a million: About a woman desperate to steal a statue with the help of a young detective to conceal her father's forgeries. Audrey Hepburn ic so lovely in this movie. Peter o'Toole.......his eyes are so so captivating.

The fast and the furious: about street car racers and an undercop infiltrating to solve the thefts going around the corner. the movie is good for the car racing scenes and is a visual delight but is low on story. yet to watch the two sequels to the movie.

se7en: Rewatched this thriller and oh my.....what an awesome performance by morgan freeman and brad pitt.

Twelve monkeys: a sci-fi starring brad pitt and bruce willis. had to watch it twice to get the head and tail of what was going in the movie.

Rocky I-VI - watched the whole series and just loved it. I and IV were the best of the lot.

Rashomon: A Japanese classic by Akira Kurosawa. liked the plot but was baffled with the ending where they didn't explain why the versions were so different from each other.

Some like it hot: a great comedy about 2 musicians dressing up as women to work in a girls band to save their lives. the classiest dialogue:
Jerry: Oh, you don't understand, Osgood! Ehhhh... I'm a man.
Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect.

Truman's Show: Jim Carrey gives one awesome performance in the movie about a guy Truman who has been on live tv since he was born. gave more substance for our discussions on existence of God.

Blow: Jhonny Depp movie about a drug dealer. liked the movie despite the depressing content.

Die Hard 4 - I hadn't planned to watch this one. but after listening to my friend i thought i should better watch it and was disappointed. shouldn't have tried watching it in bad print. same goes for Shrek third and Pirates of Carribbean 3 which disappointed me due to the poor print.

Rambo - watched this movie as an after effect of watching Sylvester in Rocky. liked the movie, not much though.

Once upon a time in west: western cowboy movie but the slow start did discourage me to keep on watching.

Wizard of Oz - I just wondered what kept me from watching this movie for so long. it's awesome, it's delightful. a real classic.

Exclusive story

2007-07-02T10:01:00.000+05:30

Was watching news at home while flipping through the channels when a news caught my attention - "naag - naagin ka romance" on India TV. Just out of curiosity I started watching the news which was tagged EXCLUSIVE. The story was about a pair of cobras who met each other at a specific time and place every day. But they never showed more than the 5-6 clippings taken of the two snakes moving and of romance – they showed nothing. And the 'EXCLUSIVE' story went on for as long as 15 mins with them showing the same clippings again and again and playing the clichéd sapera music from the movie Nagina all the time. They didn’t even have a story to complement the clippings leaving the viewers appalled by the ‘EXCLUSIVE’ news item.

When my brother saw me watching this news, he asked me to watch Discovery or National Geographic which showed better stories on snakes. He later commented “What an exclusive story which just excluded the main characters out of it”.

P.A.L.T.A.N.

2007-05-17T01:58:00.000+05:30

The first time we all went together...........SF05.......last day of SF.

Nehru Hall Day.........March 2005

SF 2006..........last day @ Children's Park

Trt @ MidTown........March 2006

The final treat @ Sher-E-Punjab......May 2007

The P.A.L.T.A.N..............friends forever

think big

2007-04-27T10:43:00.001+05:30

It’s said “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars.” Our group has followed this universal law each and every time, even when it didn’t want to.

We were thinking of going on a trip to Cal or Chandipur or Deegha or Kolaghat. We only ended up in Rakhalgaria in midst of rain and were encountered by a snake which put an end to the trip then and there only.

We were thinking of going to Darjeeling or some place but we didn’t even make it to Cal with the whole group even once.

We dreamt of being showered with treats after some in our group got some fabulous jobs and had IIM calls. The treats are still nowhere in the vicinity.

We thought of having a great BPlan. It never even made to the initial draft.

We dreamt of winning loads of money during Kshitij. We didn't even meet during the fest.

Then we planned of enjoying the last SF together. Few weren't there during the fest and who stayed were just lazy to go out.

A trip to Trivandrum was being planned initially with 6-7 people. Now there are only 2 trying desperately to make the trip happen.

Finally we thought of having a final year treat but they busted the plan by saying they still didn’t have a salary and started to ask us for a treat (how mean!!!!!).

Now we are planning for a final get-together at TP. Hopefully we won’t end up meeting at Harry’s or Chillies.

But yeah we didn't end up with nothing. We had a great trip to 90 deg without any plan and then to GolB on cycles..........We did manage to have a treat at PD in GolB...........We spilled water over the table in LS and shouted at the top of our voices...............We went to Billoos and made the place seem full when the only ones out there were our group and 1 or 2 other groups of people and the restaurant workers..................We finally managed to have the b'day treat at Garden Inn last year despite having so many fights over it.............went for a dinner on the last day of SF...................played DumbC in Kshitij arena........We did meet after Kshitij for the Fireworks and went for dinner though none of us ordered a meal that day...........We still get small treats at Sup-Dup and Chillies........We go out on walks at nights with the group in Insti and have made it to few prohibited roof tops..........and finally we did manage to get our group T-shirts printed.

Maybe we didn't end up getting bigger trips or treats or anything else but we sure had our own share of fun with these small things.

"If you reach for the stars, you might not quite get one, but you won’t end up with a handful of mud, either."

aadatein

2007-04-27T00:19:00.000+05:30

"Miss Lucy kehti hain ki aadatein agar waqt par nahi badli jayein to jarurat ban jaati hain" ---------DDLJ

there's a friend who used to get up at 2p.m. and missed all his classes. now also he misses all his classes, the only difference being he now gets up at 4-5p.m.

another friend used to just leave to take care of some errands while talking and you will be left staring at the chat window. now you don't need to stare at the window........coz he isn't there online ever.

whenever we went out for dinners or lunches, she didn't order much and said, "maine jyada kuch order nahi kiya hai, tumhare mein se bas chota sa tukda loongi." her tukda still stays there with her habit being induced into her friends.

for treats and all, we always were late coz of our "few" friends starting to get ready just few mins before we had to leave or coz some of them would be watching a series or doing some other work. now we just tell them the meeting time is 7 which actually is 8.

when we met for some meals, she always used to spill something. she still does it and other friends try to fill her space when she is not present.

in our regular get-togethers, when we had these two particular friends present, they just kept talking without letting anybody else speak. they still do it and when we don't listen they just increase their volume to let others also listen to them.

there was one laurel-hardy pair in our group which has now changed, but their love's still the same. then they used to hug each-other whenever they needed to show their affection, now the new pair just punch each-other to show their affection :D

she has always been prone to accidents injuring herself. her habit of getting into accidents continues, just the periphery of her accident prone zone has increased to every possible place in kgp.

Habits never change......they just become your lives.........and others' too

respite from heat

2007-04-26T19:10:00.000+05:30

it had been a bad day for me........taking into account both the increasing mercury level which gets on my head and also the stomach absurd.......heat already made it impossible to eat to much and the stomach absurd turned the problem into a real havoc :(

and trying to get away from these things i ended up spending the day sleeping. but finally hunger took over and i had to get up for lunch. had decided to visit the department today......but just a look of what lay outside for me if i went to department made me succumb to laziness......the scorching heat and the tiredness......i couldn't afford to go out. and so spent the other half of the day reading comics.

it was snacks time when the wind started blowing hard. and soon heavy downpour started. the water was coming in despite my closing the windows. many of us went out and felt the splash of the water on our bodies. it was a bliss. and when the rain stopped......the cold wind which blew afterwards made us forget it was summer.

the color of the sky had changed.......it was such a beautiful sight that even the fact that it wouldn't last for long made us forget the heat and the temperature and all.

ek choti si kahani

2007-04-16T01:04:00.000+05:30

baat thi donon ki zubaan par
kehna chahte they dono......
par keh na paye.........
baat zubaan par hi atak kar reh gayi
aur yeh kahani......
shuru hone se pehle hi khatam ho gayi

thanks a lot

2007-04-15T02:19:00.000+05:30

today was the final year treat. sort of a ritual which we had been paying right from our first year of stay here in kgp. the same old treat.........on roof top.......the same lights........same food....everything felt same except that this time there were our own friends.....our own batchmates giving us this final year thing.

we did all the things together........went to mess together, bhated, cribbed, bitched, shared jokes, cried, laughed etc etc............the hostel was our home and these friends - our family. and now some of these family members of our BIG family are going to leave this place. and it hasn't sunk in yet.

we have just 30 odd days more with them and it still hasn't sunk in that the faces i am so used to seeing won't be there after these 30 days. that the people i just took granted for to be in my life forever won't be there with me. i won't be able to just go and have a chat with them. it's sort of a sickly feeling and it didn't sink in yet till.........that moment.

she read out the scroll for me..........just the usual stuff......nothing new that i don't know about myself or that others don't know about me. and then i went to collect it and hugged her and then went to another friend and hugged her and she hugged me back tightly.........and started crying.....i could feel those warm drops on my back and felt

"why is she crying?? she's here and i am here too.....i'll here and she'll be here too..........nah..........she is going away.........i won't see her........nah..........how can this happen.........."

later after the party was over i went over to her and hugged her and cried.

thanks dear for being always there whether or not i acknowledged it. thanks a lot for everything :)

overheard

2007-04-05T01:37:00.000+05:30

went to a junior's room who is seemingly harmless except when she opens her mouth. she told me about this conversation she had with a friend of hers.

Mr. P ji : hey did u take the notes from chittu??
AF: who's chittu?? haven't heard about him ever.
Mr. P ji : Chitresh. don't you know him??
AF: ohh yeah i do know him. but why do you people call him chittu?? does he write too many chitthi (letters)??
Mr. P ji : nopes. he passes chits during exams.
AF: thankfully his name's not shitresh :P

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

2007-03-08T21:42:00.000+05:30

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned."
Alexander Pope, "Eloisa to Abelard"

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: The story about a couple who try to get rid of each other's memories after their relationship turns sour. A very touching story about a person trying to hold on to the good memories while erasing all memories connected to his girlfriend and finally realizing he never wanted to let her go away. Wonderful performances by Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet with everything running in Jim Carrey's mind while undergoing the therapy.

Have watched it before and watched it again and as always it touched me deeply. How often we try to run away from things when they go awry, only to be always reminded about them, to be haunted by the memories and then we try to erase everything connected to that thing or person without even realizing that the things might have been at some point of time very dear to us. But does it do us any good, just forgetting everything, erasing each and every moment lived?

"Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders."
Friedrich Nietzsche

I also was trying to run away from people or should I say just one person after the relationship didn't work out the way I wanted it to be, trying hard to forget everything that went wrong, trying harder to erase people and moments out of my mind. Not that it was hard for me to accept the situation but more than that because I still didn't want to let it go, not realizing that the harder you try to hold sand in your clasp the faster it runs away. The battle within me just left me yearning for the old days to return when everything was going smoothly, the correct way, causing no pains to anybody. It still is difficult but watching the movie regained my faith that if something is mine it will definitely come back to me, else it was never mine in the first place. Holds true every time.

change

2007-03-07T18:57:00.000+05:30

few days back me and a frnd, for late night snack, went to the newly opened nescafe stall in the hall, as the canteen was close. the nescafe wali didi told us that it will take her some time to prepare the maggi and so we went for a stroll towards our old hostel. as we were crossing we just had a look into my first room in kgp. and there on the wall was the portrait of mine which this frnd of mine had taken labors to draw and over which i had blamed her just few days back of losing it thinking it was in her drawing books.

we couldn't stop ourselves and the next moment we found ourselves asking permission from the new residents of the room to enter and to have a better look at that portrait. the first thing which came out of my mouth after looking it from close was, " Is it me?? It seems changed."

the new occupant of the room then told us that the picture has been modified by her friend and so it appeared to be different. but somehow the shock and realisation was too overwhelming for me.

i looked at myself and wondered how much the change has reflected on myself, the real person.

next time

2007-01-19T01:02:00.000+05:30

this one department in our institute is a real blogging material. there's never dearth of stories( though not all can be published). anyway here's one......

R congratulated a prof, who was celebrating his promotion to fatherhood. Prof gives her sweets and when R's class came to know about it, they congratulated him.

Prof: sorry i don't have any more sweets.
N: ok sir next time.
Prof: i hope there's no next time.
N: sir i meant next class.

Games

2007-01-16T20:34:00.001+05:30

tired of all the boyish talks about games in which i could never participate but just to say that i hated them, i finally decided to give it a last try.

ever since i got my dear comp in my 2nd year in Kgp, i have tried my hands at all sorts of games - FPS, flash games, windows games, race, chess, word games, yahoo games etc. have even forgotten all the ones which i tried once and then never played again. most of the time it was a game which a friend suggested or my brother told me about or just heard it over DC main chat while just casually searching for some stuff or other or saw some friend playing one.

was never good at computer games. my first computer game was MARIO in windows in std 5th. all my friends used to play it. i liked it too, though i could never manage to get past the 2nd level. i always used to envy my friends who played all these games quite well. then we weren't allowed to handle the computers on our own and the teacher won't allow us to play games. it was only for his favorite boys of the class that there was an exemption. i could play Road Rash just once after luring my friend to do his programming assignment in return for a chance to play a game and i played terribly. and so i consoled myself saying comp games didn't interest me.

then my brother got himself a video game after a good performance in class. i had to do many of his works to get a chance to play it and again i proved to be a terrible player. still not losing my heart, i tried my skills at chess, carom, and badminton. we even used to compete in skipping as to who could skip maximum number of times. i became better but was unable to win a game against my brother. unable to find a game which i could win, i finally decided to put off all these things and do things i was good at.

after getting my PC, i wasn't enticed by the games in it. i liked Solitaire but the thing which would keep me glued to my comp was Spider Solitaire. i tell you it's a bad way to get rid of your frustness. if i lost a game, i wanted to square the score by winning the next one and if i won then i craved for more. and the vicious circle went on. same for mine-sweeper and other flash games.

it was quite some time before i was introduced to real computer games by my dear friends. somebody told me that CS was an awesome game and i should try it and i tried it though i was soon lost with the controls. i liked the graphics but the bloodiness of the game didn't please me well. then watching one of my friend in the hall playing Q3 i decided to give it a hand and the result was the same. seeing one more friend of mine playing AOE i gave it a try too but had to quit after first game as i could not figure out the controls :(

i hate these bloody games!!!!!!!!

so i switched over to race - NFS and Road Rash. i faired moderately in these and ended up playing these for 2 days during one weekend and realising i was developing a new addiction, i just uninstalled them so as to never play them again. i took these games for my brother though, so that he could enjoy them. later my parents blamed me for his wasting his time over comp and so had to uninstall them :(

then i started playing Yahoo! games. i played all sort of games - gem drop, alchemy, text-twist, scrabble etc. but as they soon started becoming an addiction i had to compel myself to quit them.actually they become boring after sometime owing to the fact that they all were colour matching games. this was a real tragedy for me - i couldn't play any games. the games i was some good at, turned into addiction and soon had to quit them so that addiction didn't get serious or i just got bored. and couldn't play other games as they were way too beyond my comprehension.

so after quitting all the games, whenever i heard a game talk i used to console myself saying,"I hate these bloody computer games. they are such a waste of time". now i played just one game - SNAKE on my mobile and that too when i had to wait for too long or was in the train alone. and some times some word game. and if i could find a company, would have a game of Chess(don't ask how i faired in it though i haven't quit it yet).

but is quitting or uninstalling a game of any use when the people who give you company all the time are talking about games only?? NO. i had to stare blankly at their faces and listen to their incessant babble about games, games and games. have realised now that one of the few topics of which they never get tired of is COMPUTER GAMES and so to get rid of that blank stare and unavoidable incomprehension of what my friends were talking about, i finally decided to give it a last try.

started playing AOE again. and after winning two times (against easiest and easy comps :D) have regained the faith that "Where there's will, there's a way". dunno how long this is going to stay but am enjoying for the time being.

Long live these games and the spirit to fight back and win!!!!!!!!!!!!

dinner time stories

2007-01-11T16:11:00.000+05:30

it was dinner time and as i was late for dinner, i had to go alone to the mess. there i saw one of my friend laughing frenetically. i joined the gang and ask them to detail me the story. the story goes like this.......

my friend M who is in Biotech department and and has a knack for accidents ( will tell her accident stories some other time) with her other two friends was waiting for a class-mate outside the department. now as it's impossible for her to stand still, she suggested playing hide & seek with E. E consented to play and R consented to see that no-one cheated. now it was M's turn to hide and R was to signal E that M was ready. M went to her hiding place which was a small wall beside which she crouched and sat so as to avoid the sight of E.

As she was ready, she had to signal R and as she couldn't see R properly, she thought it would be a brilliant idea to whistle. now it's another tale that about her whistling, which happened in our first year camp. we had to go to a village to do some social work but as we didn't get much work to do, we just roamed around trying to appreciated the village and it's beauty. To ward off our boredom, M started boasting of her whistling skills but none of us believed her. so to prove that she could whistle "the tapori" way, she demonstrated to us.

she tried once, twice and thrice but in vain. she couldn't whistle and so we went ahead. but she didn't lose heart and bingo!!! this time her attempt was successful. and as soon as she whistled, out of no-where, two boys materialised in front of us. the looks on their face and that on M's face were equally amazing. and embarrassed they vanished into thin air in the same way as they had appeared.

continuing with the story, she whistled to signal R. only it was not R there, but two seniors of her department who were coming out. they looked around," kaun hai be, kisne siti maari??" they looked around for sometime but couldn't find the guy who had whistled (obviously girls don't whistle :D) and so they went ahead.

M waited patiently for E to come looking for her but she didn't come. tired of every onlooker giving her a curious look, she decided to come out when she heard somebody approaching. she just dashed out of her place thinking it was E but was stopped mid-way in shock to see her senior Mr M. Mr M thought it was some dog striking on him and so was ready to strike back. but seeing his junior Ms M instead of dog he was shocked, and went away silently trying hard to stop his laughter.

still undeterred and not calling it a day, M went to look around for E who had apparently gone to her lab. so she shouted from downstairs, on top of her voice,

"oye E ki bachchi!!!!! kahan hai tu???"

and from thin air materialises her professor. He gave her a stern stare and she wished at that moment to just vanish into thin air.

thankfully after this she called it a day and came back to hall peacefully without having any more adventures :)

P.S. we later came to know that these adventures of M were not accidental but deliberated by E.

Happy New Year with a PJ

2007-01-02T20:35:00.001+05:30

Q: What would be the name of the next movie of Rani Mukherjee and Shahrukh Khan??
A: "Mere yeh geet yaad rakhna"

Why??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"chalte chalte" "mere yeh geet yaad rakhna"........"Kabhi alvida na kehna"

P.S. Don't beat me up. Heard this one over the mess table by a biotech bandi and now have accepted that it's in their blood(BT ppl).

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!

busy with a feeling of joblessness

2006-11-16T13:08:00.000+05:30

its again that time of year when you are very busy.......actually you become so busy with everything that you don't remember what is keeping you busy....studies, project, submissions, tests etc.( well i am not busy with most of them and so am writing this post)

studies - they always have been for the 11th hour and even if you try hard you just can't get rid of the habit of putting off things.

project - tried hard to meet the deadlines and finally got so frust that am practicing absconding since last week. now am getting the feeling why in the first place am i doing a project. and then i think of designing a time machine with the prime motive of destrooying the idea of btp before it was proposed(on second thoughts this can be my btp :D)

submissions - had a presentation for which thankfully my partners worked. have to give one more paper on any topic and don't know of any deadline yet. so it's put off till i am utterly jobless. have one more drawing/sketching assignment( for which i am thankful to my neighbour because of her love for that). have one project report to submit which will be done as soon as i finish my work( how can i report something i haven't done?)

tests - have two tests on friday evening and saturday morning(but i cannot complain as these are the reason why i am exempted from giving one more end-sem examination and the best thing i don't have to even study for them :))

presentations - thanks to our department i don't know yet of any upcoming training or project presentations :) am seriously grateful to my department for this after seeing so many sad faces of my friends.

and with so many things to do what do you do, how do you cope up with the situation? some of my ways to cope up with the situation:-

Movies - these are one of the greatest stress-busters. just play a movie for which you don't have to apply your brains(someting you can afford not to watch but would love playing). or if you are ready to take risk watch a movie which you have been longing to watch for a long long time(have watched 5-6 movies in the last 2 days including the ones i have already watched many times)

TV series - these are the latest trends. they are less time consuming - the episodes are just 30 mins or 1 hr long. but the risk is of getting addicted to it and then you end up completing 5 seasons in one go( and you do have exams the next day)

Games - well i don't play but most of the kgp junta you will find busy gaming. just watch the excited faces when they are talking abt gaming. and they don't need a reason to do this - it's their passion ( and even when you don't play or understand the terminology of the game, they won't stop talking abt it)

Bhaating(/Chatting) - somehow you end up spending more time bhaating when you are hard pressed by deadlines. chatting is sometimes beneficial coz you get to know what others are doing( actually how they are wasting their time) and this boosts up your morals.also it is beneficial for assignment submissions etc.

Eating out - actually if you want a change, just go and eat out. feeling frust, feeling tired, feel like celebrating or are bored in your room or in lab doing the same work or are simply bored of the mess food, solution is simple - eat out. ( though after being in kgp for 4-5 yrs you know most of the menus by heart but then too a change is always welcome :) )

and yeah Sleeping - if you don't want to do any of the above just go and enjoy your sleep - waise bhi thand ki neend bahut suhaani hoti hai.

Diwali's special gift for everybody

2006-10-23T08:18:00.000+05:30

yeah this diwali turned out to be special in every other way.

it was the first diwali after many of our Paltan friends got settled/committed . some were spending this diwali with their someone special for the first time and some for the last time. someone was spending this diwali without that someone special beside her. some got the someone special just few days back, actually realised that the someone special was always there with them - she just had to look nearby instead of looking far away. one of our friend's sister got engaged just a day before.

this diwali also saw SN hall finally get something in Rangoli - it bagged 2nd prize - a cherished dream turns true!!! it was a moment for celebration and we did celebrate. we had just prayed for the figures to be proportionate and everything to be correct. we really appreciated our work which was finished in a record time of 5 days with n number of changes with maximum number of nightouts and minimum number of labour. we just loved it.

this diwali also broke the heart of somebody again by not paying for their hardwork. yeah i loved that rangoli better than mine. that was just awesome.

few more of our friends also saw their cherished dream come true when their hall got gold in illumination. their faces were illuminated when they heard the news.

and our Paltan really grew into a family this diwali.(Paltan Family - sounds good na:)

i just pray that all diwalis make our lives brighter and illuminated like this diwali.

Happy Diwali!!!!!

me, my PC and.......

2006-10-08T23:58:00.000+05:30

my father was very adamant when i first asked him to buy me a PC. how could he when he knew that the first thing i did with whatever thing i could get hold of was to open it up and see the inner architecture or try to find it's bending stress levels or just blow up the thing(in case of an electronic gadget). his being apprehensive was justified but i had to get myself this prized possession called a PC.

so i had to use all kinds of blackmailing("i promise to get better results next time"), threatening( "i can't do my project work without a PC"). ultimately he consented only after making me promise that i was not going to do any experiment on my system. ofcourse he didn't want to let the PC turn to ashes in the expert hands of his daughter(he had learnt from some of his friend that letting your child play with PC may result in it producing smoke and all). I promised that i won't do any experiment with sudden alacrity so that he doesn't get a chance to change his mind ( though wondering how long could i abstain from the temptation).

so i got my system. well i didn't know much about computers till then except the history of the computer developement and my exposure to computer was limited to programming on lab's comp and watching movies and chatting on friend's comp. so i was excited at the new thing i had got all to myself to explore, without father watching over my shoulder seeing everything i was doing with it. but this time i didn't do anything and just waited for the trouble.

i waited for 2 long months during which nothing happened. then i decided to call the trouble myself - better than waiting for the inevitable to happen. so what should i try to fix?? then i realised that there was a dormant windows 98 lying on my system eating up my precious space which i could use for more movies. and i had never used it so what's better than getting rid of it. and so i consulted every known person within my limits to accomplish my goal. everybody else except one advised me not call for trouble myself and let the 98 sleep peacefully and take care of it later when it posed some real trouble. one even suggested me to leave it for the time i format my comp - he said sooner or later you will find a reason to format your comp and then you can get rid of it. but there was one person to tell me the way to get rid of it without formatting and his way was very very simple - just make some minor changes in a file.

SO SIMPLE!!!!

i was very thrilled and changed the file as instructed by my well-wisher. the system was running peacefully untill i rebooted and then the trouble started - my system didn't boot and i had an assignment submission the very next day. i freaked out and mouthed all within-my-limits-swearings for the well-wisher for his damned well-wishing/advice. but then i had to get a solution which i didn't have. so had to ask him again and the well-wisher again was ready with a simple solution - FORMAT.

SO SIMPLE!!!!

this time i wasn't thrilled as i didn't know who had the keys to this solution - i mean the CD. i searched everywhere, to get it lastly from my dep senior. i ask my well-wisher what to do next with the CD and he instructed me well, but for some reason or other, he left midway letting me have my first lessons in troubleshooting. somehow or other i installed a fresh copy of windows -dunno how, and still was able to save my files. i thanked god and my well-wisher for their help. now i had a solution if my father had some trouble rebooting his system - FORMAT.

i was very thrilled on my newly acquired knowledge and so wanted to celebrate the moment by watching a movie. and then realised that trouble hasn't left me fully- how can it when i myself had invited it so energetically. i realised none of my audio or vedio files was running. i panicked. i must have done something wrong, must have not followed the instructions by my well-wisher well which had resulted in such a situation. and i couldn't tell my father - how could i tell him that i had broken my promise so soon.

so i waited for the well-wisher to come back and let me know what was the problem. he asked me to put another CD and everything would be fine.

ANOTHER CD!!!!!

where was i to get that CD?? i enquired what was this one for. then he told me every vendor gives it with the PC and was different for everybody's PC. and by the time he explained me all the thing that CD did i forgot the name of the CD. it was my motherboard CD. i called up my vendor at my place to give me my CD. he argued that he had supplied it with the computer itself but finally agreed to give me the CD though not then but i had to take it from his home when i went home for vacations. i had no other option than to agree. and so i returned back to my deaf and dumb system.

EPILOGUE:- i found the required files safe on my hard-disk (thanks to my vendor), so didn't have to wait for vacations to make my dumb system talk and sing again. after that i solved many PC problems - mine as well as others and whenever didn't have a solution, turned to my well-wisher for his expert solutions. but didn't trust him for my own computer problems. and yeah i have the ultimate solution to every PC problem ready with me - FORMAT!!!!!

the trip which was never meant to be

2006-09-25T09:14:00.000+05:30

sometimes few things are jinxed. they are really and so it doesn't matter how many times you try, you never succeed.

our's is a group of few enthusiasts - some 14 odd people. now that's not a very large group with a mixture of girls and boys and the one place/group in IIT with the majority of the members as girls.

so this is the final year of few of our friends and so we are planning to do all the things which have been somehow cancelled due to various reasons. one of them is going on a trip to calcutta. well everyone of us has been to calcutta but we have not been there in a group and some of our friends are bent upon going together - atleast once.

As soon as the semester starts, planning starts.

GG: we can go some weekend.

TSP: i am always ready, but i'm not coming if you all are going to Victoria or Science city or are shopping.....i hate shopping.....they are meant for girls.
A: hey we can give our b'day treats there only. We can combine 4-5 b'day treats for a decent treat in cal.
F:GOD help, the treat is going to be jinxed.
S:hey i can also come and willing to give my treat there in cal if others are ready.....but i am not planning anything.
S2:'arey mujhe cal jaane ka bahut mann hai. aur koi nahi jayega to bhi main jaoongi.'
(TSP tries hard to stop his laughter.)
GG:oye last time it was you who backed out at the last moment as you had to go home. and i won't forget the last time you refused to go with us but went with your bunch of girls........how mean.....we ask them everytime we make a plan and they refused us for a trip with girls!!!!!!
A:yeah you people always do that....that's not fair on we boys.
S2:hey i am always ready....but i had no other option last time. i had to go home.
S3:'oye tum log sachchi mein ja rahe ho kya....mujhe bhi bula lena'
and it goes on and finally we disperse without coming to a conclusion.

TSP thinks of an intelligent way to conduct the upcoming b'day treat in cal. he makes a group email address and asks everybody to cast their votes for the venue.
E writes : any time in kgp.
VB writes: anytime in kgp.
S2 is wondering how to cast her vote.
poll result.....6-kgp : 1-cal.
conclusion - treat in cal cancelled and so is TSP's pizza.

A, F, GG, S2, TSP meet someother day.
S2: 'arey yaar mere ko cal jana tha.'
F: ok baba. we have lots of time to plan cal trip......not again!!!!
A:ok. we are going the weekend after exams.
F: NO!!! we girls are planning a trip to Puri the weekend after exam.
The three boys glare at F....YOU ARE DOING IT AGAIN!!!!
F: (scared) ok. we are coming with you people.
GG: we will do lots of shopping and will sit in Maidan.
TSP: Maidan!!!! we are not going to Maidan nor are we going shopping.
A: we all can go to Hobby center. they have lots of interesting stuffs.
All groan.
A: k as u people wish. will see after exams.

some day during exams, F, GG, S2 and TSP meet. TSP and F have a paper in the afternoon.
GG: we are going cal on friday and we will do 'bhaloo' riding.
S2: Noooooooooo. i have a paper on friday.
Everybody in unison: Ohh No!!!!!
S2: we can go on saturday or sunday.
TSP: i have a class on saturday.
GG: i have mockCAT.
F: well i am free on friday, sat and sunday. tell me after you people decide.
GG: ok then i am going home on thursday.
TSP and S2 : you cannot do that!!!!
GG: why can't i?? you do this everytime we make some plan.
F: we still haven't decided the day.
GG: i am going home.
TSP: 'arey ab ladkiyon jaise nakhre na karo.'
F: sat or sun??
TSP: i cannot bunk my class.
GG: i am going home.
TSP: you can go home later.
GG: then we are going on sat.
TSP: i cannot bunk my class.
GG: i am going home.

S2 and F look at each other sadly. one more trip gone.

TSP:"hey if i pay the fees earlier then i can come on sat." and gladly pats himself for his intelligent idea.

Thu - now everybody knows that A,F, GG, S2 and TSP are going to cal on saturday.
S3: are you people really going tomorrow??
F: yeah we are....(let's see what can stop us this time.)
S3: can i come??
F: yeah, u are welcome.....the more the merrier to cry over our jinxed trip.

Fri- A, GG and TSP go for lunch together. S2 goes for her last paper. F is resting in her room.
A: i got the tickets to sunfeast open. we will be watching tennis tomorrow.
TSP: Tennis!!! no way. i am not coming then.
A: hey i bought your ticket also and so you have to come.
GG: he he....now you are showing some girl like 'nakhre'.
A: what will you do if not watch tennis??
TSP: i am not coming.
GG: ok then we also don't care. we are going cal tomorrow,come if you want to.
TSP storms out of the restaurent in fury swearing under his breath and summoning the greatest power to open HIS fury on these morons.

F comes few seconds later.
A: you missed something.
F: what??
GG: TSP is not coming!!!!
F:so at last something did stop us...........what happened??
A: we'll still be going tomorrow.
F: and TSP??
GG: who wants to come will come. we are not going to cancel this trip.
F: for gods sake tell me what happened........this really is jinxed.

after discussing the scene and deciding on how to pacify TSP, they all leave to talk to him. They call him up and talk to him and then he was his usual self again.

S2 joins them after her paper.
S2: so when are we leaving for cal tomorrow??
Everybody else in unison: Cal trip cancelled!!!!!
S2:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..........mujhe cal jana tha.

after some time.......
S2: we can still go after we are back from holidays.

and the vicious circle never ends.

actually HE, who never listened to TSP, granted TSP his wish for once as he was leaving the restaurent in fury causing a cyclonic depression in cal and all the trains cancelled leaving us with no other option.

tagged!!!

2006-08-07T20:40:00.000+05:30

Well this post was due for long. So here I complete the tag imposed on me by sonik. I liked the tag but didn't have the tempo to complete it before. And today when I am tired of watching movies and sitcoms and working on my Project ( at last met my Project Guide), am here taking this quiz.

Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.

......what we want to share with you. This has been........

(Reader's Digest. Page 18 is Hero Honda ad.)

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.

Empty space. Window is abt 75 cms away from the tip of my hand.

What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Bluffmaster. Next day there was a power cut which lasted for more than a week :(

Without looking, guess what time it is?

9 pm

Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?

8:50 pm

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

The sound of the fan and the constant noise of crickets.

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

1 ¹/₂hr. before for dinner and then chatted in friend's room.

Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

At my room and thought it would take a long time to rearrange it.

What are you wearing?

Jeans and t-shirt.

Did you dream last night?

Had a dreamless night yesterday. Was very tired.

When did you last laugh?

15-20 mins back when was chatting with my friends and was watching mucis videos.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?

A wall clock, a jute hangar which I use as a (light) bulb cover, a wall hanging and a calendar. And yeah the scribbling by my previous room owners' friends on hall-days.

Seen anything weird lately?

A person with one arm riding his bicycle.

What do you think of this quiz?

Liked it.

What is the last film you saw?

Taxi Driver ( but had to fast forward to finish it. Didn't like it much.)

If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?

Will buy a big bungalow and the most modern gadgets i can lay hands on and yeah chocolates and put the rest money in fixed deposit.

Tell me something about you that I dunno.

My childhood friend is in kgp.

Do you like to dance?

Yes.

George Bush .

Don't like him

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Anu

Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Marvin.

Would you ever consider living abroad?

Never for long.

What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

Welcome.

I tag!

Am done with tagging. Bahut gaaliyan sun chuki hoon, ab aur nahi.

The Wanderer's Tags

2006-04-16T23:44:00.000+05:30

i read this and found it tempting to write a post and so here it is..........THE WANDERER'S TAGS

5 people who top your shit list..... and why:

1. M.K.Gandhi :- he was the one responsible for indo-pak division which has affected both the nations badly and is still affecting them
2. Laloo Prasad Yadav :-one of the worst politicians who likes calling himself "garibon ka messiah" but uses the money to feed himself and his large family and for organising expensive marriages for his daughters and getting them high degrees.
3. M.F. Hussain:- calls himself a artist but doesn't know that art is not about detriorating any religion's or country's image. his paintings seem as if somebody has just put some color on a blank canvas.
4. Karan Johar:- his movies are just another form of Ektaa Kapoor's K tv series having ladies draped in costly sarees shedding tears most of thetime........he also started the tradition of heros shedding loads of tears......i hate "K series tear jerkers".
5. Ektaa Kapoor:- her portrayal of the indian family in the tv soaps, makes many believe that people, especially the ladies in the indian family, have no other work than to plot against other family members.

Close brushes with death/danger:
rode over a snake while riding cycle on a slippery muddy path.......fell on the ground....read the whole story here.....believe me those 5 mins were the longest 5 mins of my life.

5 Preferable modes of suicide, in descending order:

sleeping pills.........have them and go to sleep.......not painful:D
gun.........laying hands on one is difficult
knife........painful and bloody
jump off a building........there's a chance that u get ur limbs broken instead of killing urself
hanging..............most painful

5 Guilty pleasures:

M&B and Shidney Sheldon
watching late night movies
reading my father's diary
bitching abt our own friends
better be kept a secret.

5 things you never want to forget:

My 10th board result and JEE result
the first sight of my family when i get home for holidays
The first sight of IIT
my school friends - smita vikram sanjeev
my days at kgp and summer of 2004

5 things you wish to forget:

the day when i slapped my best friend in front of everybody in the class.
all other slapping instances
my days in ranchi
the day i lost my baby cousin sister
my first experiment in kitchen with "kheer"...........it was a disaster

5 crushes/loves in your life... in chronological order

VB
Pete Sampras
Milind Soman
Hrithik Roshan
ARS

really exotic dishes you have tried:

homemade dishes.
gajar ka halwa( a dessert) .......i prepared it myself this new year in my hostel room
biryani that my friend's mother prepares
jarda
Momos

Strangest dream you ever had:
i was waiting for my board exam results....one day i had this dream that our result was out. i saw my junior and seniors with me (who were their own class toppers). they all had done well in the exams except me and i was so depressed and was on the verge of crying.......i almost thought it was real and took some time after i woke, to realise it was just a dream(or better call it a nightmare)

5 most valued personal possessions:

my first play's snap.....it was a annual day production when i was in std 6.
our family pic when i was just 6 months old......it has father, mother, my eldest sister and me.
my first wrist watch.......it was a b'da gift from my father that year.
letters from my friends and my friends
my first design assignment printout

5 favorite superheroes:

Phantom
Dhruv(it's a hindi comic hero)
Spiderman
Batman
Shaktiman

and now the tagging........5 people i am tagging(i am enjoying this tagging business again:D)